Greetings, Earthlings! I want to apologize for complete lack of sanity that past couple (insert your own time frame here...eons, minutes, seconds, centuries, I careth not. I know I'M crazy. We're just waiting for you to hop on the bus) . With DH taking off it's been a (cue Red Hot Chili Pepper intro complete with falsetto right...............NOW) ROLLERCOASTER! OF! LOVE! ROLLERCOASTER! OOH! OOH! OOH! (Yeah, I didn't tell you I could sing. I may have IMPLIED it, but hey, we all lie, okay? At least. AT FUCKING LEAST! I do not try and make a living impersonating Britney Spears - did you know her initials are BS? Telling, ain't it? - and getting boob jobs on MADE so I can prance around in front of the camera even though I totally suck and have no coordination whatsoever) This has been me: UP. DOWN. UP. DOWN. UP. DOWN. (Edited: Naughty, naughty! I just read this and thought, "WOW! It sounds like I'm talking about the big S E X." I'm not. I'm talking about my MOODS. That kind of up down, you perverts. I know I thought it too. Shut up. It's not my fault Anthony Kiedis doesn't sing about the rollercoaster of moods. Or pain, or whatever. See? Just sounds dumb.) DH came home the other day to find me emptying out his duffel bag and seeing if I could cram myself in it. Then I saw the picture of the spiders they have over there, and promptly crawled out. I could still mail myself over there, though.
Oh yeah. The picture. The only thing that stinks about my new toy is that you have to have COMPLETELY steady hands to take a decent pic. Moving sushi? Unh unh. Little kids? Not a chance. It puts the beer goggles on for you! That's a marketable feat. In the picture is the sushi that they have thrown together, because I KNOW no Caucasian was like, "Mmmm. Eggplant. Mmmm. Leeks, and hey, while you're at it? (Whipping out KraftSingles packet) Throw some of this on there, because that'll just bring it ALL together (making grandiose gestures ala Iron Chef)!" I don't even think any ASIAN was like that. You can barely see it, but I ga RON tee that little orange peeping out there? American cheese.
When they imply that you shouldn't leave home without your plastic? They're talking about the cheese, not the credit card. (TCWH's lame attempt at humor #459837-9. I'm falling off the horse!)