I used to have this friend, a long time ago, who, when I talked, would have this annoying habit of grabbing in the air and pretending like he was plucking things out of it. "What the hell are you doing?" I'd ask, silenced by his motions. "You're so damn random, Ali. So damn random. You just say whatever pops in your mouth without any thought to the person who's listening to you - you just jump from subject to subject, tangent to tangent. If you were driving? We'd be lost down all the little side streets that you choose to take in your monologue. I'm trying to listen to you, and I'm finding it damn near impossible." "Hunh." I exhaled. "Hunh? Hunh?!" "Yeah. Hunh." And I think it was shortly after that that I began making my lists. That way the numbers would help people know that I was CHANGING SUBJECTS. Like this:
1. It was Educator's Day yesterday. I was supposed to meet my friend at her house at 5:15 am. My alarm didn't go off, meaning I got a phone call at 5:30 resulting in me rushing around the house cursing and tripping, my make-up in tow. Fully unprepared for a 13 hour day, 5 hours of which were spent in the car. It wasn't that bad. I won some styrofoam dice.
2. Today is my birthday party. DH is sitting patiently by, waiting for me to finish this post so that we can "get ready". I think getting ready consists of: cleaning the damn house *sigh*, running to the store to buy all the last minute items that I forgot, and waiting around until 4:00 alot. AT and her husband are coming, the Thompsons of guppie fame are coming, another family, another family, and 3 other girls. Think our place will be crowded? I'll feel popular 'cuz it will be standing room only at the H's. I won't actually be 29 until 12:00 am this evening.
3. I can't stop buying maternity shirts. I'm addicted to them. Yes, sometimes I like to wear small shirts, and look vaguely feminine, but the styles? of the maternity shirts? So cute. This one is pink. Nope. Not pregnant. Very sure of that.
4. My Nana had a stroke last Tuesday. I talked to her on the phone last night. I was unprepared for her being unable to finish her sentences. She couldn't find the words. "In a little while, in a little while..." she kept repeating. I fought to keep my voice steady and shook, uncontrollably, while we spoke, trying to help her find her voice. Sometimes life gives me lemons that I don't want.
5. My friend K sent me a birthday card online. It was of a hunky man "dancing." I love her, but feel awful because I know her birthday is around mine and never remember when hers is. If I've forgotten YOUR birthday? It's not because I don't like you. It's because I'm an idiot. Wishy washy. I could make a list of those.
6. I got Eagles tickets for my birthday. October 30th cannot come soon enough.
7. Remind me to take pictures tonight.
Happy Friday! Enjoy your friends! Even if they do stuff that makes you nuts. Like telling you you're random, which I totally am NOT, by the way. Yeah, I see you laughing. You know what you can do? Leave me a comment. I want to make 800 comments for my birthday, because it is of earth shattering importance, you know. SO I only need 10 more (nudge, nudge). Okay? PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE? When have I ever asked you for anything? Besides then? And that other one doesn't count. Okay? Okay? Okay?