There are way TOO many things that I have not taken advantage of while I have been in Japan. Here's a short list of regrets:
1. Have not climbed Mt. Fuji
2. Have not been skiing in Sapporo
3. Have not been to Akihabara
4. Have not been in an onsen.
5. Have not been to Kyoto
6. Have not been for the naked "massage" (And when you read that, it has to sound like this: MASS SAHJ. Not the americanized muh saj. Hooked on phonics. Works for me! And I'm not talking about the happy ending kind. I'm talking about the one where the ladies exfoliate your skin.)
7. Have not been on the bullet train.
Last night, however, while I was out with a friend, who I shall refer to as "2GT" I got a chance to cross one of those regrets off my list. I ate FUGU! Blowfish. Pufferfish. For those of you who are out of the Japanese Cuisine Loop, fugu is highly poisonous. It can kill you. UNLESS it is prepared by somebody who knows how to slice and dice the fatal fish. Right about now you're probably wondering why I would want to expose myself to something like this. Much less something raw. I've thought long and hard about this (Too much thinking often takes place when dh is away) and have come up with the following:
1. I like sashimi.
2. What better way to spice up a Saturday evening than flirt with death?
Now, I'm not saying that 2GT and I marched in there and said, "WE ARE FOREIGNERS! WE CRAVE ADRENALINE! GIVE US FUGU!" Alas, it was nothing that exciting or daring. We were sitting at the sushi bar, watching some bizarre show on designing the perfect wedgie free underwear for women. As we watched the subject patiently perform deep knee bends as the designer marked with varying color markers on her rear end exactly where her knickers began and ended after her exercises, our attention was momentarily diverted to the round plate of thin mouth watering sashimi being passed to the extremely inebriated couple next to us.
2GT: What's that?
TCWH: I think it's Fugu. I'm not sure. Do you want me to ask if it is FUGU?
2GT: YES! YES!
TCWH: (elementary Japanese) What that? FISH? FUGU?
Perplexed But Amused Chef: Yes, it's FUGU. And a bunch of other stuff I didn't catch because the lady with the panties was still doing deep knee bends behind him staring at her rear in the mirror. A little distracting. And disturbing.
2GT: Ask him how much it costs!
TCWH: You! FUGU! PLATE! HOW MUCH?
PBAC: (probably recognizing that he can sucker us into eating it at this point. Could be funny. Could be disastrous.): ONLY 3000 yen a plate.
TCWH: It's 30 bucks a plate. Expensive!
2GT: That is expensive. (pause) Wanna try it?
TCWH: What if we die?
2GT: Look at the other couple. They look okay.
TCWH: How long does it take to take effect?
2GT: I don't know. Should we wait?
TCWH: I think we should wait. Let's definitely wait. And watch them. If it looks okay, we'll try it.
At this point, we stared at them for the next 15 minutes. Until we figured out that we didn't know how long it was supposed to take. If they were going to die. We didn't know if it would be a gradual, poisonous, painful passing, or more a "The Princess Bride" "Hahahahah - thump" ending.
2GT: What do you think?
TCWH: I think we should try it! What's the worst that could happen? We wouldn't have to go to school on Monday?
2GT: You're right. Let's do it. I've always wanted to do it.
TCWH: Dh might be a little mad. I mean, he's not even here. If he came back and I was dead, he'd kill me. But you'd be safe. He wouldn't have anybody to be mad at, because you'd be dead, too!
2GT: (laughing) OKAY! Order up!
TCWH: EXCUSE ME! WE! PLATE! LIKE! FUGU! PLEASE?
And then we waited with sweaty palms while he sliced it up, paper thin and made it excellently aesthetically pleasing. I don't think I've been so nervous in my life. Well, maybe the time the plane was bouncing around in the sky like one of those ball and paddle games, but this was the closest second in a while. I couldn't even think. I could already feel my lips tingling, death clutching at my throat. I even kicked myself for not going with dh to do a living will, but then I remembered that the only thing I had (and not even anything of value) was an empty stomach.
He placed the plate in front of us, and I actually thought I was going to hyperventilate. Apparently sending dh off to the desert where he could tiptoe through the mortars was not enough of an adrenaline rush for me. Silly, silly GIRL! I'm such a little thrill seeker. Sometimes I even eat the "choke" out of an artichoke just so I can get that panicky feeling. No, not really.
I have to be completely honest and say that once I got past the initial 1/2 a plate, my hands stopped shaking. I had no numbness, and only minimal tingling. My mouth felt spicy, not unlike the feeling attained when biting into a pepper, but more mild. Of course, 2GT and I documented the moment for all posterity by way of her phone camera, just in case somebody doesn't believe us. Thinking about it today, I didn't really cheat death. I didn't even really flirt with death. I just kind of chewed on him a little bit and washed him down with some tea.