Hi Kiddies! Today's "P" word is for PISSED! And not in the British sense, not drunk. That would be nice. Maybe then I wouldn't be so damned frustrated.

Dear THE FIRM,

Hi! TCWH here, you know, just a normal gal with regular abs and muscles. I just wanted to let you know that I HATE YOUR NEW DVD's. I despise them. Yet, because I am stupid and a glutton for pulled muscles and punishment, and I WANT! TO! LOOK! LIKE! THAT! ANDROID! ON! THE! COVER! I keep doing them, day after day after day.

What frustrates me most of all? The cue-ing. A good instructor will give you time to process what just came out of his/her mouth before they put it into action. As instructors, you all should know that response time is varied, according to the pupil. Therefore, please allow a small break for processing instead of spitting out the words and immediately starting the new move forcing me to trip over my box (SHUT UP) and fall face first into the TV. That is not comfortable at 4:30 in the morning.

What happened to your instructors? The toned, healthy women that graced the first and second sets of tapes are now ALL really freaky looking. I find myself staring into Prissy's belly button wondering "Can you really have muscles IN THERE?" This has had an adverse effect on your workouts. Because your women all train roughly 20 hours a day, they have superhuman strength. I am unable, for example, to do 80 lower ab bicycles with my legs at a 45 degree angle to the ground whilst trying to refrain from slipping down the incredibly uncomfortable declined box. "There's modifications!" you all exclaim. BULLSHIT! YOU have a pregnant woman on there doing ab exercises that I cannot complete - her baby will probably come out ridiculously small because there is no room in her stomach for it to grow!

Additionally, quit overloading your students! I cannot suck in my gut, level my hips, raise my leg higher, straighten my back, loosen my neck and put my weight on my elbows ALL AT THE SAME TIME! You repeating it over and over and over until I want to jab my remote control in your pretty, UNSWEATING face DOES NOT HELP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Maybe I'm spoiled. Having a husband as a personal trainer does have its perks. The best thing about him? He lets me catch my breath between sets. At the rate you girls are going, your clients are going to end up passed out on the floor from lack of oxygen.

Just a thought.

Flabby and frustrated,

TCWH.

This temper tantrum brought to you by THERMOGENICS and no TREADMILL.