Sorry I've been so quiet over here, ya'll. Packing out and trying to get myself out of the school in one piece has just been difficult.
I got news this week that's just been hard for me to swallow. When I was in college, I dated a guy for roughly four years - on and off. And on. And off. He had a twin - with whom I was just as close in a love/hate sort of way. Nobody was good enough for his brother, and had I a sibling that I were close to, I might have understood that.
The twin brother was found dead in his car this last Sunday, somewhere outside of New Orleans. I was winded when I thought he had been shot, but when I found it was possible suicide...
I can't think about him or I start to shake. I hurt for his brother, whom I loved for a long part of my young life. Even if we parted on bad terms, you never want the ones you loved to hurt that badly. You wouldn't wish it on them, you know?
One good thing that has come out of all this grief is a rekindling of friendships. The threads that tie us all together, although taught with the strain of losing one of us are still as strong as ever. I find that comforting.
I have great memories of his brother - it was HE who took me shopping for my formal dress, because Michael just couldn't stomach it. Or was busy. Probably both. But Matt stood there patiently, watching me as I tried on every dress, and didn't even flinch when I made him look at every one and critique it.
He used to make me laugh so hard I thought I would wet my pants. He was always good for an episode of Jerry Springer (which I was addicted to at the time), and even better for a night out.
I feel conflicted about him. Suicide is cowardly.
They were two of the hardest working boys I know. I am at a loss to see that one of them is gone. They were always a package.
Dh pointed out yesterday that this is the 3rd young male friend I have lost in my life within the last 10 years. I used to have this theory that I knew so many people that die because of all the people I met moving around. It stopped me from wanting to meet others for awhile. Now, well, now I just go on, behind my cloak of the internet. If I can't see you, I don't really know you. And I won't be hurt when you leave. Eventually.
Break on through to the other side, Matt.
You'll be missed.
Aw, that's terrible! I'm so sorry! But the rekindling of friendships - there's always some sort of silver lining, however hard it may to be see.
Suicide may be cowardly. I'm not sure yet. I have had several close people take that route. I think that they all felt that it was the only way to go for them at least. I'm sad for you. I'm sad for his brother, it must be very hard for him.
I'm sorry for your loss. I too like Surfcat who have had friends take that route, I'm not one to judge but I was hurt that my best friend did it. I just feel that people should be able to talk to those closest to them but maybe some things people go through we may not be able to ever understand.
I hope the move is going well.
I am so sorry for your loss. As you know I lost a friend to similar circumstances not very long ago.
This past week my niece (7 months) died from sids. Its been a bad few months :( I'm an emotional wreck to say the least...
I am so sorry to hear about this. It's hard enough when someone dies, but when it is suicide it makes it even harder to bear.
You and his brother are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry about this. I always hate reading stories like these...another young life needlessly lost. I hope you're doing okay.
You guys, I can't even tell you what your thoughts and comments meant. I was trying to think of something eloquent, but...well, sometimes there just aren't any words for something. Thank you.