TBA's husband has a british accent. Which is mighty convenient, considering that he's from that part of the world. While I usually pride myself on being a worldy woman, I've found that his accent combined with my lack of hearing talent have provided quite a bit of comic frustration, if not comic thought. I feel like an unwilling participant in some sort of slapstick comedy. Hey, hey, hey! There's a reality show for ya! Insert extra big smile and eye twinkle right about..........--->HERE<-----.

I swear, y'all, that damn plane did something to my ears. I think that I can hear inside my head - which doesn't do a DAYUM thing for hearing what is going on OUTSIDE my head. I'm always, "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT'D YOU SAY?" ing my way through dinners, conventions, porns. It's a pain in the ass.

Yesterday, as we were leaving the house, Phyllis mentioned that we should put bog roll on the shopping list. Which I am sure many of you know (although not me, because working with tiny little ones the last 5 years of my life has reduced my days to Pokemon and Dragon Tales and MINE!) is toilet paper. Because I am such a thinker, as opposed to a, ummmm, LISTENER, I imposed this striking monologue on TBA (bless her heart. I'm in the South now. I have to say that when I mention someone so they know I'm not talking shit about them):

TCWH: What did he say? Bugger roll? Bugger all? What the hell are we supposed to buy? Momma told me that bugger means to fuck somebody up the ass. Although, I don't she if she explained it QUITE that way, although maybe she did, because she has a mouth like a sailor, and this one time? in 7th grade? well, that story's too long, but, bugger roll? A fuck somebody up the ass roll? I mean, I guess that's comparable to what toilet paper is used for, but....

And on and on I rambled oblivious to TBA or the baby's howlings. Because I could not fathom why it would be called bugger roll.

It's not. It's bog roll.

Which makes much more sense. Because I don't even know what a bog is, so I'm not worried about it. But I do know that it is not a bugger.

Hearing. It's the new black.