May 17, 2004
Bad Wife Central

bwc.jpg

Okay, okay, okay. (Can you hear Joe Pesci? Can you? Can you? Hunhhunhhunhhunh? Okay. Now that we have that settled...) I know what let's do! Let's me and you play a game. Ready? Go get a drink. Go pee. Okay. Look at the picture up there. What does the girl look like she's doing? Does she look a tad bit busy to you? Yeah, me too. Umm, if you do not concur, well, pretend you do. This is my webpage, and you're entitled to your own opinion as long as it agrees with mine (Okay, okay, okay. Just on this matter. Political matters, ethical matters, religious matters, HAVE your own damn opinion. But gimme this, okay? Haven't I been accomodating enough? NO?!!!! All right. I'll get you another drink. Now shut up.) . What was I saying? Oh yeah...the chick in the pic. This was me today. Ass deep in computers, kids, and assessments. Apparently though, that doesn't make me busy. I had three people come and ask me to do stuff. My response? SURE! I'm not two days away from being done with my Master's! SURE! I'd be happy to shovel that shit for you! Sure! Let me suck that rattlesnake venom out of your ass! SURE! Let me pick your nose for you and dispose of it, because apparently, I don't have a damn thing to do! Me sitting here? NO! I'm not writing my last two papers, I'm writing love notes to (insert 8th hottie of the second here), you silly girl!

What the HELL is your point, TCWH? Well, y'all, here is my damn point. All this butt kissing to get a job makes me founder, president, and permanent resident of Bad Wife Central. All this time I could be spending with DH, I'm trying to get my damn work started and finished. Drinking beers and typing furiously while he's waiting for me to be done with whatever the hell it is that I'm doing. Whatever that is. Which, I guess means that I should stop bitching and put a cork in this son of a bitch. Daughter of a bitch? Except Momma's not a bitch. Well, you're not allowed to call her one anyway, she does have her own T-SHIRT though.

Okay. Final thoughts:

On DH: I love this man who sits next to me night after night and dances like some lime green jello to the porno music on Blind Date. You know he's bad.

On small hand held battery operated devices for women: Look advertisers, I don't care what you call it. Hand held massager, bikini area shaver, nose hair trimmer, vibrating toothbrush, I'm still going to think that it's a dildo.

Kisses for all of you. But no tongue. I just ate some jalapeno chips and drank some Corona. And, more importantly, I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL. (Oh MY WORD I SO WANT TO NAME my NEXT CHILD THAT RIGHT NOW.) Think social services will call me out for having a kid named Corona? Tune in about 2 years from now.


Alex | 08:58 PM |

Comments

If celebrities can name their children ridiculous things like Apple, Pilot Inspektor, etcetc (I could go on forever) - I don't see anything wrong with Corona. Besides, it also means crown. You could tell the child that it's royalty.

comment by jacinthe at 10:31 PM on 05.17.04 [ link ]

Everybody has a normal name, allow greatness and go for it!

Jalepenos and Coronas (with limes) is a wonderful conbination. I know what let's do...

comment by Surfcat at 11:34 PM on 05.17.04 [ link ]

Looks to me like she's talking on a cell phone.
Gary dances like green jello too.
Ask him about the time he got SHITFACED while I was on the phone with my mom and dad and decided to come tell me all about it. He didn't have jalapeno breath but it sure smelled like straight up alcohol.
DH is lucky to have you and I am quite sure he knows it! :)

comment by rachel at 12:28 AM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

At first, I didn't realize you were talking about the girl in the little pic, thought you were talking about the lovely lady at the top of your page. And I agreed, she does look... busy. :)

comment by Marian at 03:58 AM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

Oh shit.. I thought you meant the little one too.. top one DOES look busy.. what were we thinking Alex? Who cares. I STILL LOVE IT! .. haha

comment by rachel at 04:52 AM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

Funny you should mention strange names. I used to do the computer support for the local Ronald McDonald House. One day I noticed the bulletin board that contained pictures of people who had stayed there in the past. Imagine my surprise when I spotted a woman I had worked with at another company holding her twin daughters, Quality and Unique. Mom's name? Star.

comment by Howard at 07:19 AM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

Corona can't be any worse than Apple, but a heck of a lot better than what I originally thought you meant to name your next child: "I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL." Even Moon Unit Zappa would likely raise an eyebrow if you named your child "I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL." Especially if you had a boy.

comment by Tiger at 11:26 AM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

J.
This is a valid point. I mean, I figure at some point in his/her life, the kid is going to hate his/her name. I mean, I hated my given name for YEARS, and have only recently come to appreciate it. Why not go for the gold?

comment by Alex. at 04:44 PM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

SC,

Hmmm. You're not implying something naughty are you? ;)

comment by TCWH at 04:45 PM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

R,

I WAS talking about the little one! I was! I was! I didn't mean to imply ANYTHING about the other picture. I still think it's great. Hee Hee Gary. What a trip.

comment by Alex at 04:46 PM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

H,

That is AWESOME! My mom used to work at a school with sisters, Florine, Chorine, and Whitener!

comment by Alex at 04:48 PM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

M,

I didn't even think about that! Do you think it looks like she has her hand somewhere she shouldn't?! ::panics momentarily:: HEE HEE!

comment by Alex. at 04:48 PM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

Tiger,

Hilarious! I read your comment and laughed out loud - receiving very bizarre looks from two nervous 6th grade girls sitting across from me. I guess teachers aren't allowed to have a sense of humor? Holy shit, if I had a boy, that would be great!

comment by Alex. at 04:50 PM on 05.18.04 [ link ]

She's not supposed to tell you about when I do my drunken Irish jigs...

=D

comment by Gary at 10:36 AM on 05.19.04 [ link ]
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