Okay, okay, okay. So I thought I had a job. Guess what? I don't! Isn't that exciting? It seems that the same people who had kids in litters last year, like puppies or rabbits or fish or whatever else comes in huge numbers have dried up. Enrollment is down. And because I didn't get my paperwork in soon enough, I don't have a job! Yet! I could, but there are some teachers with jobs already and no kids to teach, so they would place them first. And then they are closing some schools all the way over in fuckifiknow and THOSE teachers need jobs, so they would place them before me too. And me? ME? Well, it seems that my earlier hypothesis was right and that I will indeed be able to wipe my ass with not ONE but TWO! TWO! FUCKING DEGREES instead of being gainfully employed. Will they let me work at the Cirque Du Soleil doing that?
So here I sit, taking it like a government employee, and by that I mean UP THE ASS, getting a classroom ready for 22 little gems that will not be calling me "Teacher", but "THE SUB." Pleasant, yes? Fun, yes? But, I am not a party pooper. No, I am a team player, and there is no "I" in team so I'll just fall back on "the team" when I can't pay my fucking student loans. Not really, so let's think what I can do, shall we? Let's play find Alex a job. I'm asking you (Yes, I am pointing my finger at you. Quit picking your teeth/nose/butt and think!) . What do YOU think I should do?
I have some guidelines for you:
1. Remember that I am in Japan.
2. Remember that I live on a base.
3. Remember that I am antisocial.
4. Remember that I don't really like people, kids, dogs, cars, crowds, moving objects, cleaning, or decision making.
5. Remember that I don't like to sweat.
So far, I have thought of two things that I can do.
1. I can be a tissue paper hander outer. There are TONS of those jobs! You stand outside the subway station and pass out tissue. ALL DAY! Having a master's degree qualifies me to do that, you know.
2. I could be an official toilet flusher. I heard that in Singapore, it is illegal to not flush the toilets in the public bathrooms. I KNOW that I am in the land of the rising sun, but maybe I can start a new career field. If you're in a hurry? I'll flush! Got to catch your train? I'll flush! Can't figure out how to flush these damn electronic toilets? I'll flush! I could even display my (all together now) two fucking degrees on the wall!
I will send the person who thinks of the best job...ummm, let me think. I'm about to be really poor, so how about some belly button lint?
Oh man! That sucks! Are there pre-schools or something? I know they don't pay what you're looking for but some is better than none, right? Good luck!
What? You mean you can't sit around all day long eating bonbons and watching soap operas?
KIDDING.
Wowza, that pretty much sucks major ass. I'm sorry to hear you're having a glitch.
Maybe you could become a psychic, as I was picking my teeth and THINKING about picking my nose when you asked me the question... ;-)
That totally sucks. And I can relate to the student loan pain. My friend Heather in Korea does something involving army recreation... is there something like that in Japan? I don't know. I'd like an alternate career too so let me know what you come up with. Maybe you could teach English to small Japanese children?