I may be more a little bit more uptight than most when it comes to the body au naturel ( Vivi , you're over there, how DO I spell that correctly?) , but prude as I may be, I strongly believe in NAKED PROTOCOL. Hear me out now. I know there is a time AND place for Naked and Nekkid, but there are certain aspects of NAKED (and Nekkid) that your lockerroommates should not be subjected to.
Take, for example, the young lady who I happened upon when I went to use the little girls' room before Yoga. She stood there, naked as a jaybird (What the hell is a jaybird? Doesn't it have feathers? I mean, I guess baby birds look naked, but they really aren't, so that whole saying just strikes me as "eh", which I got from my boss. My co-teacher, who is a wonderful woman said, "Mr. X! Don't you just love her hair?" And he just shrugged and said "eh." That's how I feel about the naked/jaybird. What the hell was I talking about?) bending completely over. I was completely uncomfortable in the bending of the over as I had to walk around her backside to get to the loo. I took the wide berth and went about my dailies. When I washed my hands and exited, she was still standing there, hair in a ponytail, bra on, and in her socks and slippers, and nothing else, resulting in the following conversation with my very favorite teacher, FT (OOOh, don't get all original on us, TCWH, I mean, FT for Favorite Teacher...you really did wipe your butt with those degrees, didn't you?) .
TCWH:...I mean, isn't there some kind of naked protocol? I walked out, and there she was! And she put her bra on! First! I *ALWAYS* go for the panties...I mean, I don't wear "panties", I mean, I do, but I HATE that word, I wear underwear, but the panties should be a priority. Can you believe it? I came out, and she's putting her bra on. HER! BRA! ON! for Pete's sake! "I may be naked but my boobs are firmly in place! And ooh, ooh! Let me do my hair, and I SURE don't want my feet to get cold!"
FT: (Something terribly witty and funny which made me laugh, but since I didn't write it down and have the mental capacity of a sieve was something like...): I know, I always go for the panties, first, too!
TCWH: I know! You don't just put your bra and slippers on...and the socks! THE DAMN SOCKS! and let that "thing" hang out there! Cover that up! And the bending! Of the over! Shouldn't there be some kind of naked protocol?
FT: Definitely. There should definitely be a naked protocol. Panties First. There should definitely be a panty priority.
Kind of reminds me of the time that my old roommate, Catherine Bane, paraded around our hotel room naked while she put lotion on. She would put her leg up on the bed and everything, giving God and everybody a grand old view of her room at the Inn. And after she showed us her cooter? She'd ask us to put lotion on her back. When I repeatedly refused, she told me that I was "too self-concious" and that "it was only the human body and that I should appreciate it." Maybe if she looked a little bit more like Laetitia Costa (SHE DIDN'T) . That was the longest spring break of my life. They said what happens in Cancun stays in Cancun, but damn if I can't get that mental image out of my head.
Seems like I've been talking about holes quite frequently, anybody care to suggest a new topic? Happy Friday, Friends. May you observe the naked protocol.
Image Gleefully Liberated from:http://www.kluc.fm/images/artist_pics/commando3_sm.gif