Rainbow Trite | TCWH | Sex at the H's

Yesterday, feeling particularly amorous towards dh, I initiated some, uhh, "multiplying." (Aside: Is it multiplying if you know there's no possibility of producing a product?) Whatever hopes I had of spending our Friday in a romantic manner were dashed as soon as I realized what shitty timing I had.

Primarily, I hurt my back at the gym yesterday. Bad. I don't know what the hell I did, but it resulted in a lot of "OW! OW! OW" and dh rubbing furiously trying to make it go away. Kind of like a preview of last night. The result? I am unable to move my lower body independently of my upper body, say to turn around or look over my shoulder or anything AT THE MOST or move around. At all. AT THE VERY LEAST. Why did I choose last evening in particular to make romantic overtures to dh? SOME dumbass gave me a Master's. Ask them.

Also add to the equation my wearing of this lovely accessory:

Burns like hell, smells to high heaven and leaves a lasting "scent" on anything it touches through layers of clothes. Yippee!

Needless to say, there was no afternoon delight at chez h. Just a lot of:

TCWH: Ow!
dh: Turn this way.
TCWH: I'm stuck! Ow! OW! SHIT!
dh: Are you more comfortable this way?
TCWH: Don't touch me! I can't move! Roll me over the whole way! (I imagine that up until this point I looked like an overturned turtle, except I was on my side, waving my arms and legs halfheartedly, trying to face him. Billy Bob a la "Slingblade" voice start: SEXXXAAAAYY, Mmmm, hmmm. Billy Bob a la "Slingblade" voice finish.)
dh: Let me move my arm...what's that smell?
TCWH: What smell? (Hello, allergies)
dh: Oh God! That is...pungent!
TCWH: It's my... (hobbling from bed shrieking like a banshee) ...It's IN my EYE! Ow ow ow ow ow get it out get it out get it out get it out.
Mood killed successfully and in record time. No applause necessary.

Today, lying on the couch on my pillows saturated with the lingering odor of the PATCH, I am reminded that there is a time, place, and position for everything. None of which I am capable right quick. Better luck next time.

if i were you, i would have laid on my back and instructed him to...ohmygosh, i was going to say perfom, but then i realized that i am on the INTERNET and other people can read this. shame, shame. ;)

feel better and thanks for your congratulations.

comment by amber at 09:59 AM on 04.02.05 [ link ]

Take it from a girl who has suffered from chronic back problems for 12 years now (I see an osteopath every 6 weeks), you find a way ;) Even when you stink to all the gods upon high of wintergreen (courtesy of Deep Heat) and it's so strong it's making his eyes water and his nose hairs curl, you find a way. Even if it means finding a position in which you are completely supported and don't have to move a muscle.

You. Find. A. Way.

Good luck with that :)

comment by Kitty at 09:16 AM on 04.03.05 [ link ]

D'oh! piss poor timing but really he should have indulged you once he realized how a) hurt you are and b) hard up you were to get some that you would risk further injure

comment by Fidget at 03:18 PM on 04.03.05 [ link ]