Oh beer belly, beer belly.
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
Thy depth holds up even the loosest of pants.
Thy width a safe place for questioning people to rest their suspicious eyes,
Lest they spit out those taboo words -
"When are you due?"
I am not insulted.
I pat you instead, as we laugh softly together -
Me giggly, you jiggly - knowing, only the two of us, from whence you came.
Heineken, San Miguel, and Corona are thy names.
All of whom I know very well, as you proclaim roundly, oh belly.
You save my intestines from cold.
And provide dh with a soft place to rest his tired head.
You are a constant companion and gentle friend.
My love for you, oh beer belly, like your dogged attachment to me, is everlasting.