Incident # 2505 (this year)

You know, I am a dork. I mean, I think we all have the elements of dorkocity, but I damn near have the market cornered, I think. I know that Dooce has dork and Brandon has "doerk", but cut me some slack here, you two. At one point I was able to convince myself that I might be kind of cool, but today removed all doubt. Like magic! Voila!

In honor of Teacher Appreciation Week (hint, hint), our principal cooked us lunch. One of the other teachers, who I will refer only to as Big J, met a colleague and I in the hallway, as we were racing towards the free food. Teacher Stampede, Teacher Stampede!

Big J: Y'all didn't forget lunch, did you ladies?
Alex: No, we're on our way!
Big J: I was comin' to getcha, I was comin' to getcha...
Alex: Spittin' out lyrics so homie...(trail off noticing that I am the only amused one among us. Like a fungus. Fungus among us. And 'cuz really, let's face it, y'all: There's nothing cooler than a nonpregnant maternity shirt wearing white girl rapping in the halls of a military elementary school.)...ummm, look! A condor in a wetsuit!
Big J: Crazy Train! Party of one! Choo! Choo!

There you go boys and girls, bona fide, certified, fit to be tied DORK.