Most of my women friends have made the remark at one point or another (after having children) that their experiences with their own children have made them closer to their mothers. I would guess that for most, this is true.

Now Momma, on the other hand, I think she has just gone to another planet.
Y'all have read about O.E.O. (Oh Enlightened One, for those not in the know - dh's teenage son - but wait! You have to bow when you say his name. Kow tow, kow tow, kow tow). Well seems the teenage tyrant has gotten himself in a lick of trouble. In so much trouble, in fact, that the principal told him if he got himself in trouble again, he'd get expelled. EXPELLED? EX FUCKING PELLED? That's kind of a big deal where we come from.

When pressed, O.E.O. (oh eee oh eeee oh bow bow bow), merely states, "I didn't do anything!" But not doing anything doesn't get you expelled. Bringing a knife to school gets you expelled. Making threats on the principal's life gets you expelled. Leaving bomb threat notes in the lockeroom so your school will be evacuated and you can see your high school jailbait sniffing boyfriend gets you expelled. Not doing anything? Does not get you expelled. Even if, as O.E.O (prostrate) says, he is what you call "a prick".

In relating the situation to Momma, she says, "Ohhh...he must be under a lot of stress." WHAT? WHAT?! THE KID ALMOST GETS HIMSELF KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL AND WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?! If it had been me, my ass would've been flayed before my parents had me quartered and then sewn back together again so they could KILL ME for being so irresponsible.

I sputtered in disbelief, I did, I did. All over the new phone. Was this MY mother?

Somewhere in between me, and them, Momma has lost her edge. She's gone from stage mom to supermom. Dragon lady to Softy. Disciplinarian to Sympathizer.

Her reborn identity makes me nervous about the summer. I'm counting on her to help keep them IN LINE, not TALK to them about their feelings and shit - fear of your parents is a goooood thing.