Here's some free advice for all you parental units out there. Upon arguing with your 11 year old, DO NOT be so stubborn that when he questions your use of pet name "Crack Smoker" for dh as incorrect (because, "DUH! You don't SMOKE CRACK!" in the infinite wisdom of a preteen), DO NOT rip him from his chair and drag him to the computer where you will force him to type "crack smoker" and then click on images and then grin like a CHESHIRE CAT while jabbing your fingers at the screen leaving greasy fingerprints while gloating, "SEE? I told you that you can smoke crack therefore making you a CRACK SMOKER!" It just doesn't sit well, folks.

Also? Should you ever make it into a classroom? A high school classroom? A military base high school classroom in particular? Do not WHIP out said google skills to prove to the sophmoronic self-described "playa" in front of you that "SHAT" (which he uttered whilst CLEVERLY! trying to avoid an expletive in class and warranting a possible trip to the principal's office) is indeed the past tense of "SHIT". Example: Today, the dog shits in the yard. Yesterday, the dog SHAT in the yard. Both days, I stepped in it. See? Teaching is fun. While you may embarass him out of cursing, this doesn't sit well either, regardless of your incredible knowledge of expetives, past (I fucked up my chance of getting a job by doing that), present (I am fucking up my chances of getting a job by doing that), and future (I will fuck up my chances of getting a job by doing that).

Moral? Google is the tool of the devil. And crack smokers.