November 22, 2005
My Stupid Mouth

I guess pride comes before a fall.
Or at least a fall before a fall.
My boss said that we were getting a new teacher at our grade level soon. I agonized over who I was choosing to move to the new (accelerated) class, thinking that the parents would be upset that their children would have yet a 4th teacher this year.

The reality of the situation is that the "accelerated" 1st graders have already been separated out. Although I ended up with 6 high children, the other teacher's children are probably functioning at a lower level than the kids in my class - making it hard to make a truly "accelerated" class. This isn't a new problem. I heard from other teachers that a new teacher was brought on board two years ago to teach an accelerated class. When the parents found out she was a new teacher and was having struggles of her own in addition to trying to meet the needs of an accelerated group, they were angry and felt misled. Fair enough.

I don't know who this new teacher is this time around. I DO know that it is hard to come in and teach in the middle of a year in an extremely constrictive system that, in trying to take all the guess work out of differentiated instruction, is effectively handcuffing the teachers.

I agonized about approaching my boss, not wanting her to think that I was throwing a wrench her system. Which I was not trying to do, I just didn't want to deal with a horde of angry parents. Maybe horde is too strong of a word. Flock? Exultation? I was just thinking of the kids. Bottom line.

I came up with an alternative: maybe I could team teach with this new teacher - show her the ropes, so to speak. I may be new, but I know a hell of a lot more than she does right now. Our assistant principal thought it was a great idea. She'd run it by the boss, she said.

Let me backtrack and say that I already felt disappointed before this morning. Whenever we have a visitor at our school, they never see hide nor hair of my classroom. Which, would be a blessing to most. It seems to be a pat on the back here. If you're doing a good job, we'll show you off! Finally, with the head honcho touring, the boss said for me to switch lunches - I thought I would have a visitor for sure. I would no longer be the red headed step child hidden in the back of the school. I dressed in my finest after a Sunday of getting the classroom ready. Did anyone come? No.
Team teaching? No.

On top of that, I get to call the parents and ask whether or not they would like their children moved to an accelerated class, therefore leaving me. Even my assistant said the parents would have none of that.
3 said yes without a thought.

If I'm truly worried about the good of the kids, I don't think that I'm allowed to say that my feelings are hurt that these people just said, "Great!"
But I do feel hurt. Because nothing is ever that simple. I don't know if I'm thinking too much, but I feel humiliated by my boss. It she thought there wouldn't have been a problem, an, "I think we've got it under control, Alex," would've been sufficient. I don't need to make door-to-doors.

I brought all this upon myself because I wanted to keep the parents and the children happy. I know if someone were doing this to my kid, I would want to know, BUT I would rather not know that the parents think I'm so dispensable.
Like a baggie.


Alex | 07:19 PM |

Comments

I think a lot of people in education really are not concerned about the children as backward as that may be. Congratulations for trying to do something good for them, even if your efforts were not appreciated.

I think the only reason those parents wanted their children moved to an accelerated class is because they thought maybe their children were being singled out because they were very smart and every parent wants to think their kid is "gifted" or accelerated.

Have a great Thanksgiving and e-mail me if you get bored or anything.

comment by Jen at 11:55 AM on 11.24.05 [ link ]

I started to comment on this once before and deleted it.

As a parent who has put 3 through public schools, I have to admit labels and perceived advantages that come from them have a lot of pull - ie advanced. It's silly, because remembering my own and my children's educations, good teachers made the difference, not the label on the class, or even the subject. Bad teachers can kill the desire to learn almost anything. Why do we only learn this when we're too old to use it?

Parents, and even principals are going to do dumb things because they're human, too. If you know you did the right thing, sometimes that has to be reward enough. It beats the alternative. You don't have to torture youself thinking "I should have...."

comment by MarkD at 10:37 AM on 11.25.05 [ link ]

I MISS you!

Your heart was in the right spot, there should be MORE teachers like you in the world to care for our kids. Don't be so hard on yourself! I need to give you my best friend's phone number so you guys can bash together, she is also a 1st grade teacher.

You both have my admiration - I couldn't do it...

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