I wouldn't peg myself as particularly squeamish.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, former New Orleans cohorts, but it was not I who squealed shrilly and attempted to attach myself to the ceiling light the many times that Matt and Mike's apartment was flooded. Nope, I just sat on my little folding chair, knee deep in TOXIC! WATER! and watched the cockroaches do the backstroke to higher ground. And ants. And spiders. Did I utter a peep? NO. Shoo fly, don't bother me. It was George, the big Puerto Rican, who "Eekk!" 'ed and "Ewww!"ed whilst tiptoe-ing through the flood. If you'd thrown a pair of high heels on that fucker, he'd've out sashayed Miss Jay down any runway.
This morning. Groggy and hungry after greeting dh at the door at 4 this am upon his return from his first night's work as a BARTENDER, I stumbled to the ktichen, and waved what I thought was a fruit fly out of my way. We bought the bananas in bulk, couldn't eat them all, and now we are dealing with the fruit flies. No big deal. But this fruit fly was particularly persistent. And particularly pesky. And large, judging from the corner of my eye.
Not in my fucking kitchen you're not. Turning 90 degrees to unleash the wrath of my full-on housewively cleaning determinationedness, I was face to face with a spider. A big one. And she was not pretty or delicate like Charlotte. No, this was one mean orange whole person swallowing angered arachnid. And I was in her way. Remember that scene with Sigourney Weaver and the Alien? I was THIS! CLOSE! ---> <--- This CLOSE! PEOPLE! to the dripping fangs of death.
Torn between running back to bed, awakening dh and thus forfeiting my girly badge of "Bugs R COOL!", and BREAKFAST, I decided to take manners into my own hands. And I cannot even tell you the shivers that went down my spine as I imagined the upcoming crunch that I was going to have to deliver to kill this thing. Would the guts leak through the paper towel (aka Weapon of Certain Doom and Demise)? Would they get on my HANDS?! If I hadn't been so scared of the damn thing pouncing on me and devouring me in my moment of weakness, I would've been curled up on the kitchen floor in the fetal position, drooling.
It was that big.
I promise.
When I was in college, there was once a GIANT wolf spider in my house. I told my boyfriend at the time to please go kill it, and he took a wad of paper towels and went over and squished it. The spider got the last laugh, though, because some of its guts squirted out and shot him right in the eye. His eyeball turned bright red and swelled and we had to go to the emergency room. So be careful with those big ones!
Oh my God to the first comment. That is so stinking discusting! I saw the biggest spider EVER in the Phillipines once (and haven't gone back).
Had a moment like that recently... was sitting working on my couch late one night and a BIG, HUGE, the utter grand poobah of centipedes came crawling down my shoulder from the top of the sofa. I had the heebie-jeebies for weeks.
Ew...... I had a ton of cane spiders in my place in Hawaii b/c I backed up to a field. though they are non-poisonous, they still gave me the creeps. I usually chased them out the front door with a broom b/c my brother killed one with a shoe once and it smashed into the wall. Yuck!