Hey There.
Hi There!
HO THERE!

I'm such a mean wife. I don't really have a bride, but "Pimp my Husband" was not as "catchy", and "Pimp My Ride"...well, this is a family place, y'all. Momma reads this.

Yesterday, Dh came home. Stupefied. The owner's sister had come in and perched her married self at the corner of the sushi bar all night. Related to the owner, two kids, from out of town. I think he thought he was safe.

I mean, let's remember, we're not at a REAL BAR. Because all kinds of shit can happen at a real bar. People get drunk. And naked. And drunk. Sushi Bar? Not so much. It's like a hotel bar. Granted, once I saw a girl reach over the bar, grab Kyle (ex boyfriend - bartender) by the collar and lay a big, fat, kiss on him at a hotel bar, but it was a Saturday Night. I guess she was feeling "frisky". Or something. Hell, I WAS that girl in my early 20's. Except it was at a gay bar in Buffalo. And I thought he was gay. Until his friend told me he wasn't. Oops.

Point being, I don't think dh expected these kind of, ummm, shenanigans at a sushi bar. Towards the end of the night, as he was ringing out, she offered to pay. He declined, stating that it was taken care of. She refused the freebie, grabbed his hand and slipped a 20 in there, purring, "This is FOR YOU." Or maybe it was "THIS is for you." I couldn't tell from dh's delivery, he was so thrown. He tried to reenact once he got home, but I was laughing hysterically. I would've been so tickled had she said, "Go run and get yourself a little something."

"And Alex, she just kind of held my hand. Stood there and held it."
"She wouldn't LET GO!"

Oh the PAINFUL SHYNESS!
And the MORTIFICATION!
And the CHEAPNESS!

I guess the military didn't prepare him for these types of "interactions".

I shouldn't laugh at him.
It's not nice.

Am I breaking a commandment? Thou shalt not laugh at the objectification of your spouse?