Remember how I said I was winning?
Against these evil things?

That was short lived.
No sooner was I done with the finger and the licking and the good, did we get a box of these, which I have never had until yesterday.

Yeah, they look like Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls (dear lord, I hope that is the last time I reference that shining example of cheap but humorous creativity on here when discussing food. Ever. Balls are hairy and wrinkly. Hairy and wrinkly are not that appetizing. Unless you like balut. God Save the Baby Chickens! And why couldn't he have made veal hair and wrinkly, because then I definitely wouldn't eat it and if you say anything about the skinning process, I will have to HURT you right after I projectile the last two weeks savings over the back of the couch.) but they taste like heaven (but really, do you want to take my word for it? Because last night when I was chatting with her , I told her that chewing Fruit Stripe after it has lost the 3 seconds of initial flavor, it was like chewing on condoms. Not that I've ever chewed on condoms. Which I'll use as clear indication that I will NEVER, EVER be hired somewhere based on the culinary preferences of my palate.)!

Now that that's cleared up (I know, you'll sleep like a rock tonight, right?) I have two words for you:
Chocolate.
Rum.

It's as if the two moms, biological and in law, have gotten together with some kind of evil plan to permanently disfigure me. With candy. Could be worse. Apparently dh has also fallen prey. Although, after dropping 20 pounds without even batting an eyelash (bastard), he's sitting pretty. He could probably have both liquified and fed to him through an IV 24 hours a day and not gain a pound. It still makes me feel better that he eats them, though. Less "moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips" for me.

TCWH (I really think I was cross-eyed with culinary ecstasy at this point): 'mmmmmmmmmm. You better hurry back from work, or I'll eat both boxes.

dh (nonchalantly and without the slightest trace of guilt): Oh, that's okay. You go right ahead honey! My mom sent a huge box over Christmas and I ate them all with L.A.M.B., ph, and their parents.

Wow, thanks for sharing! I wonder what else we've gotten in packages that he's kept for himself? Or shared with EVERYONE BUT ME?