I was exasperated when dh picked me up from work today.
We're talking:
EX
ASSS
PERATED.

"Dh..." I exhaled.
"Just kill them all," he said.
I laughed. Only a teacher can understand the agony of being in the classroom day after day.

Can I just tell you?
Some parents have their heads so far up their asses it makes teaching really...ummm...UNFUCKINGPLEASANT.

I have a student. He's very needy, in terms of my time. And discipline. And help. In general.
He was mad the other day. So he told me that another little boy crawled under the toilet stall door and touched him on the butt.
I was fucking mortified. That's sexual harrassment, right there!
I confronted said boy. "Mrs. H," he said, "If I did that, my knees and hands would be dirty."
Touche, little Watson. Thank God you are a smart 7 year old.
So, I wrote a note home to Kid's mom. Your son cannot allege sexual harrassment. Period. Please speak to him. And, he lied.
Oh. Did I mention that he follows me around all day long? Cries if he doesn't get his way? Refuses to finish his work even though I tell him EXACTLY how to do it? And get verbal answers from him?
But wants to kiss the girls and make them cry and CANNOT come up to the front of the class without acting like he's the next American Idol.
He has also been stealing green stickers from me and putting them in his behavior folder. Green is good, yellow is not so good. Red is BAAAAAD. His behavior folder? Looks like the inside of a Mickey D's. No green in there.
No response from mom.
No response from mom.
No response from mom.
Yet I continue to track his behavior faithfully everyday (per her fucking request), robbing my other students of 10-15 minutes (which if you ever tried to keep 1st graders occupied) is really long. Eons, even.
No response from mom.
I get pissed.
So I send home a WTF? note. That goes in his permanent file.
Still no response. For a week.
I finally call her at home and tell her about the allegations, the stickers, the lying, crying, the bad behavior.
She wants to know why he got two green stickers from the substitute if he's so bad.
She doesn't hold them responsible for the same things I do, I tell them. Which is not much, really. Just stay in your seat and raise your hand before you want to talk.
She gets angry and demands to talk to the sub. Says the sub should've called her.
Umm, hello? She's a sub? That's not her responsibility.
She still does not sign the parental form.
Child continues to misbehave and disrupt the class, so I send him out, document it, and send it home.
Guess WHAT?
NOWWWW I get a response. I should've called her. CALL HER ASAP.
I do.
She's pissed.
Why didn't I call her yesterday?
Oh, I don't know, maybe because there's 22 other kids in the classroom and the phone out in my trailer doesn't work, and I had a little kid who couldn't control his bladder, another one who was gagging herself until she was able to throw up on her desk just the tiniest amount because she was mad that I didn't believe she sprained her ankle (even though I saw her break into a full on Marion Jones sprint and shove over four other kids so she could be in the front of the line), and three other ones who were trying to beat the crap out of each other over a broken orange crayon. No, I didn't have a lunch break, no I didn't have an assistant that day, no I can't use my cell phone minutes (are you paying the bill?). And the two green stickers that your kid got from the sub?
Not the ISSUE.
Maybe she should come in my classroom and see what YOU are doing with him, why he is so bad with YOU, she accuses.
What she wants me to say is that it is because I am a HORRIBLE teacher who CANNOT control the kids and that I HATE her SON and WANT HIM TO FAIL.
Which I don't. Because nothing could be farther from the truth.
She tells me he's never had problems before.
BULLSHIT.
I pull his file.
Defiant/agressive? Check.
Cries if he doesn't get his way? Check.
Doesn't follow rules? Check.
Yeah, it's just me lady.
Your kid's never had problems before.

This from the lady whose mother said to me, "I don't know what you know about education," and then proceeded to school me on how I needed to tell abovementioned daughter of hers how to run her life, because it was affecting her grandson. Ummm, THAT'S DEFINITELY not part of my job description. Isn't she your daughter? Isn't that your grandbaby?

How many days until Spring Break?