Rainbow Trite | TCWH | Just Kill Me Now

As any good parent or teacher surely knows, I believe in improving your (and your children's) mental health through public humiliation. Which is why I am admitting to you all that I watched this little harvard hopeful fencing fanatic Leelee Sobieski look alike "bring the flava" at her school's hip hop auditions and cried. Well, weeped is more like it. It doesn't matter whether I used to be this girl or not (hint, hint: if your parents chaperone your 7th grade dance and tell you that you're a good dancer, ummm, YOU'RE NOT. YOU SUCK.) we can officially add this to the "Please kill me if..." list. So if you're taking notes: 1.) Openly discusses Bowel Movements 2.) Cries when she sees little white girls make the hip-hop team. I don't care how much she Harlem Shakes it, and I adore you, Abbi-licious, but you most definitely did not bring the flavor. Not even the vanilla kind. I would say something mean like (insert insult here. G'head. Pick one.) , but that would be mean, and I'm not here to hurt feelings. Well, not today anyway. What I do want to do today, y'all, is learn more about you. It won't kill you. Tell me what your pet peeve is. What should be on other persons' "Please kill me if...." list if they are going to spend copious amounts of time with you? Please make me feel better and less neurotic by disclosing your pet peeve to me even though I just insulted some poor little girl. Absolutely guilt free for you, y'all. And what's better than guilt free? It's like calorie free! Because I like you so much, I'll even start!

DH's pet peeve: He does not like it when I wear the glittered shirts in the bed. The glitter comes off, it does, it does, and goes in all sorts of inconvenient places like ear wrinkles and butt cracks. Most bothersome, I imagine. I love glitter and even bathe in it from time to time, ear wrinkles and butt cracks be damned.

TCWH's pet peeve: I come absolutely unhinged when people leave things open that are not supposed to be open. Closet doors, cupboard doors, files, toothpaste, their mouths...Want to watch me go nuts? Open everything, sit down, and watch. I did learn that keeping your mouth closed is something learned, but if you were supposed to run around with drool coming from your lips, why is "mouth breather" an insult, hunh?

But it's so not about me today, kiddies, today is ALL ABOUT YOU DAY. C'mon, humor me. Pet peeves? Anyone, Bueller? Bueller?

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who walk abnormally slow on the sidewalk. Or walk like 3 abreast on the sidewalk, blocking it so you have to step into the street to get around them. Or - and the worse - people who suddenly STOP dead in their tracks causing you to almost run into them.

comment by jacinthe at 09:33 PM on 11.04.04 [ link ]

I can't stand it when people TALK through a movie or a really good tv show.

They think they have to recap everything that just happend - as if you didn't JUST see it!

I have great trouble fighting the urge to shove a tennis ball in their mouth.

comment by Amelia at 10:53 PM on 11.04.04 [ link ]

Oh! Oh! I H.A.T.E. when people are TWO FACED and expect me to play along when they talk crap about someone, like I don't know that as soon as my back is turned they'll be shooting the shit about me the exact same way.

comment by Kristie at 11:01 PM on 11.04.04 [ link ]

I really hate bad table manners. Chewing with your mouth open (goes along with your open issues), not putting your napkin in your lap, starting to eat before everyone is served, cutting up a giant piece of meat into bite size pieces before you start to eat when you're over the age of 5. Etc. I also don't like gum chewing in public, at least when it involves snapping and popping and smacking. gross.

comment by Genevieve at 12:46 AM on 11.05.04 [ link ]

Salespeople who try to ram their store credit offers down your throat. They hold your purchase hostage, never completing ringing it up, until you've refused seventeen times.
And yet this is what I am supposed to do at my job, and I hereby predict that my refusal to badger customers into this will someday result in my dismissal.
Ah, livin' on the edge, it's my only rush.

comment by LeeAnn at 03:12 AM on 11.05.04 [ link ]

Ahhh, people who don't know the definition of "opinion" and insist that there opinion on a debatable subject is fact. This may not count, as it doesn't make me say "Just kill me now" as much as is makes me say "I want to kill YOU now."

comment by Brooks at 03:13 AM on 11.05.04 [ link ]

Fake tags in baseball (thats fightin' words); litter bugs - especially lighted cigarette butts out the car window; lent items that are returned dirty or broken; people that drive with their high beams on...

comment by Surfcat at 04:50 AM on 11.05.04 [ link ]

guess how i got here today? blog explosion you say? well, you're right. i think blog explosion loves you more than it loves me.

maybe it's the drugs...

comment by jack at 05:30 AM on 11.05.04 [ link ]

I cannot stand when people are late. It drives me crazy. If you have a set meeting/appointment/date time, you've known about it in advance. And unless there was atraffic accident or you sat in poop, or your child is sick, you better be there on time. Furthermore, it REALLY pisses me off when people with NO REASON are late. They just are. It just gets me all "riled up"

comment by Laura at 12:37 AM on 11.07.04 [ link ]