I know, I know I ALREADY used this picture. What can I say, it's a classic. Well, a TCWH classic, anyway. Who makes Boobie Chocolate? Japanese people make boobie chocolate! That was a story from another day, though. Onward, onward, wearily onward.
I was watching Trading Spouses last night. I don't know what the hell got into me. I could've been doing a million other *productive* things, but there I was, glued to the set. Staring in fascination at the Jewish family tolerating the Christian lady and the Christian family twinkling all over the Jewish lady. At first I was mortified how UNOPEN the people were to change. I mean, why go on the show? And then I thought "GREED! AVARICE! MONEY!" Sure, Bob, I'll be a total bitch for a week on TV for 50 grand. Momma needs some new sparkly underthings! Not my point.
Imagine my delight when the Christian Mother begins talking with the Jewish Father about broaching the topic of sex with their quickly ripening girls (Yeah, yeah, I know you all saw this episode before. I get my tv 3 weeks late. Leave me alone, okay?) . She said that he should take a candy bar, and while discussing their virginity/purity vs. having sex, pass the candy bar around from person to person - she even said you should squash it and wipe your nose on your hands while touching it! - all the while mentioning....ummm, mentioning...I don't know! I was so horrified by this woman's analogy, I couldn't even hear her words. All I could hear was: "Hold up the new candy bar. Say 'Do you want to give your husband this? or THIS?' while you hold up the squashed, gross candy bar."
Has this woman lost her cotton picking mind? There are things wrong with her example on so many levels, I can't get past the fact that she wants to wipe her nose on a candy bar and equate that to premarital sex. I'd make a quick and dirty about "with or without nuts", but I can't think that fast.
Primarily, I don't think it is her place to impose these kinds of visuals on children. If you're going to teach abstinence, there are better ways to do it than making your children feel DIRTY and USED. Fuck. She should just play "Like a Virgin" and do an Andy Kaufman a la Mighty Mouse lip-synching ONLY "Shiny!" and "New!"
I'm no raging feminist, but why "Your husband?" Why not "Your wife?" "Your partner?" "Your mate?" I have problems with religions that say the woman should be submissive to the man. Women like this give me the hives. I once had a friend tell me that it was the woman's responsibility to make sure that the man did not lust after her by dressing in a manner that could be interpreted as "sexy", as she eyed me disdainfully. I untucked my turtleneck from my ankle length skirt, pulled it up, and jiggled my Itty Bitty Titty Committee's two inches from her face. Sexy is as sexy does.
Furthermore, how can she equate sex to a candy bar? Are you making an emotional commitment when you peel that wrapper off your Mr. GoodBar?
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