Ummm, can I preface this entry by saying that I am PISSED OFF that none of you are awake when I am awake and in desperate need of some IM?
So I'm talkin' with Momma, the Queen of the Hive. We're talking about O.E.O (not in the know? Stands for Oh, Enlightened One, also known as teenage step-son. WARNING: You must bow after reading/saying/thinking his name, k? Cause he's a motherfucking teenager, y'all. I can't believe I was ever one of those. EVER) . We talk to them once a week. Last weekend, he mentioned that he has a girlfriend. Name? Tika Tyke. Hello? Stripper name, or what? Maybe she's imaginary, I don't know.
As a parent, and a teacher, this raises red flags. Especially after O.E.O (STOP. DROP. BOW.) proclaims that he has had sex, and when asked "how it was," states "fine". HARUMPH. I may be passive aggressive when it comes to colleagues, friends, etc., but kids of my own? Or of my step own? FUCK THAT. So I confronted him about the S.E.X. (Don't read "sex". Say the letter. "S", then the letter "E", then "X" - are we clear? It is super important to me right now that you read this how I am saying it. Feeling, ambiance, I don't know. Humor me, okay?) , and he admitted that he had not done it (Yes! Thank Buddha! No illegitimates this year!) yet, but he just wanted "to get it over with" which strikes fear into the heart of any parent (step or otherwise) . ANYWHERE. Hear me, y'all? ANY FUCKING WHERE.
As y'all can imagine, when dh and I heard about Ms T.T., we were a little apprehensive. God Bless America if she is a little nerdy girl with glasses and no boobies and no sex drive and grasshopper legs (like I used to be) . I will eat hard boiled eggs for two years if she resembles me instead of a BRATZ doll. Please, please, please? Hello? Is this thing on?
Seeking comfort, or knowledge, I sought out Momma's wisdom. Know what she said? That she and my father were worried about me having sex at 13. Apparently, she didn't look at me in the mirror. The ugly duckling? I made her look like the motherfucking SWAN. And I'm not talking about that lame ass excuse for a plastic surgeon pimping him/her self out on a show on FOX. I WAS all up in the "U" "G" "L" "Y", "you ain't got no alibi." Yes, y'all I was the ugliest of the uglies. I couldn't have BEGGED anybody within my visual vicinity to have sex with me. Not to mention that Momma threatened me with death in the event that I decided to deflower myself. Put it this way: I was so scared to tell her that I had sex that I considered committing hara kiri rather than admitting to her that some boy had seen my girly bits.
And the fact that she says not to worry about O.E.O. (Am I on another planet? Bueller? Bueller?) just makes this whole TCWH and sex at 13 completely more foreign. My teeth are grinding themselves, dammit.
keep reading »We need to switch IM's I was up till the wee hours as always and we could have been bitching up a storm together ;)
Whats the time difference there anyway cause I am an Idiot and don't know.
As for S-E-X dear God I can't even imagine... MY son was bragging about *French Kissing* and I can't handle it, I am such an OLD FART.
PS. The name does sound *stripperish* LMAO. I wish I could have a talk with the girl Heather that calls here everyday and my son is mean to her (I do give him shit) but I just want to tell her have more self respect yada yada yada but not my place, altho I would be doing her a favor...
Somedays being a Mom/Step or otherwise is just hard and sucky ;)
I'm usually up when you are... my IM status icons are on my blog if you get bored.
As far as O.E.O. (bow) goes you're fighting a huge uphill battle. I hadn't thought it was possible but s.e.x. is put even more into the forefront of teenagers minds than it was even ten years ago. I don't think kids are necessarily having sex any younger (hell, I was about O.E.O.'s (bow) age my first time) but I think it is more about the pressure to just get it over with than anything nowadays. Then again, I could be completely out of touch and rambling like a hobo.
Alex, try not to freak too much. Yeah, a 13 year old having sex isn't exactly desirable but hey! He lives with his MOM and in ANOTHER country. Look at it this way, if he does knock Miss Tata up, you don't ever have to babysit!
Seriously, I feel your pain. My son is 15 and he likes to act all innocent but I know what's going on in that hormonal hell storm of his mind. Geez, dh and I found a charge for an adult movie on the cable bill last month. And for once it wasn't ours!
Good Point. Anyways, this was where i met her. You can join for free as well www.redtricircle.com