Suffice it to say that the elevators in our buildings give me the creeps. They clang and jostle. They are always filthy, no matter how hard the building janitor works his fingers to the bone to keep them clean. The walls bear evidence of drunk residents' idea of good times. Spit and other bodily excretions smeared on the them, creatively placed to complement the award capable grafitti. The lights are those sensor ones that come on when the door opens, supposedly, but I've been left there standing, many times, staring into a dark box while the light flick, flick, flickers and then finally makes up its mind to come on. What if that light were to go off while I was in there? I'd just be standing in the dark, listening to myself breathe. In the dark. Did I mention that I am afraid of the dark? When's the last time y'all watched a horror movie? It's always dark. There's always a light flickering. Do you see my point?
85% of the time I take the stairs. Sometimes this is just not possible. Yesterday, as I was getting the house ready for dh's homecoming, I had some MAJOR cleaing up to do. There were bottles and garbage galore. While I am usually feeling particularly adventurous, falling down stairs head first with my hands full of something that would prevent me from breaking my fall is one of my biggest fears. Although, I've been told that one night at a club in Orlando after somebody put something in my drink (because I was stupid and left it on a near by table, and I only had one, and my friends said that after that I was out of control. No really. Shut up.) , I fell headlong down a flight of metal stairs, and then hopped up and said, "I'm fine!" However, I am sure that fall used one of my nine lives and I have no desire to relive it sober. Especially down that stairway, which is also equipped with those flickery creepy lights and nobody who lives above the 2nd floor uses, meaning I'd probably be lying there arms all akimbo, bones all a-jutting, wind knocked out of me, until they finally found my poor, broken, body, and me dead. 3 months later.
Yup, my happy ass got into that squeaky, dirty box of death, and I rode it down into the depths of hell (not really, but hey, I like cliches) . Depths of the basement. B1. As the elevator bounced and the little button informed that we were indeed on B1, I readied myself to exit. The doors slid open 1mm and clink! Got stuck. Oh dear lord I just knew I was going to die in there. My mind raced, "What do I do, what do I do, what do I do? I didn't even die eating the Fugu, but now I am going to die in the elevator, and dh will REALLY kill me. Why the hell didn't I bring my cell phone! You always have that thing. Who would I call? Would I even get reception? I don't know the number to base! What if I get stuck in here super long and I have to pee in here? Then everybody will see when I get out and if I try and tell them that the pee was already in there, they'll KNOW I'm lying and I will be so embarrased, and I'll have to move out of ALL of Japan because everybody will know." I watched the door. And hyperventilated.
SCREE. CLINK. SHUT.
SCREE. CLINK. SHUT.
SCREE. CLINK. SHUT.
SCREE. CLINK. SHUT.
And then I saw it. The emergency call button. And I rang on that little button for dear life, I didn't care if somebody spit on all the buttons. And as I listened to it ringing, I realized that it was only ringing in the building. "Well who the fuck is going to save me in here? Is some guy going to run out of his apartment and whip out his handy dandy bag and handy dandy tool box? I am going to die!" And as I sucked in what I was sure was my last breath, I pushed on the 1st Floor Button and the Door Close Button simultaneously, and a miracle happened. The elevator reset and delivered me to the 1st floor. Where a crowd of people were standing there, staring at me in surprise. Yup, they didn't hop into that puppy either. Thinking I was a good Samaritan, I slapped on the "Maintenace - Please do not ride this elevator" sign, so some other poor soul would not be subjected to the same horror. Just then, my neighbor walks in.
TCWH: You might not want to get in that elevator. I just got stuck in it.
Neighbor: That's all right. (Steps into elevator. With young child)
TCWH: Stares at his back, agape.
It's not like I was trying to tell him not to buy thus and such a juice because it tasted bad. I almost got stuck. IN THE ELEVATOR. And he had a child with him! What is it with some people?
By the way? The duration of my ordeal from start to finish? 7 seconds. Max.
I'm afraid of elevators. I always seem to encounter the elevators that like to shut while you're still standing in the doorway. Yeah. Not fun... and not cool either. Only dorks get squished by elevators. Plus, it seems like everytime I think to look around for an emergency button or phone, it's broken or missing. I've never needed to use one *knock on wood* but still.
Your neighbor is insane.
When I babysit, I have to cram myself, three small children and all their school stuff in a tiny tiny elevator that is carpeted from wall to ceiling. It's either that or climb eight flights of stairs. I feel like I'm rolling the dice every time I get it in.
Oh gosh, that's really scary! I've always wondered what happens when you press the emergency call button.. Good thing I live on the 3rd floor and usually don't have to resort to the elevator. Plus, walking up those two measly flights of stairs is usually all the exercise I get a day.
I never particularlly liked elevators but I dealt with them, until I got stuck in one for 20 mins and I am NOT exaggerating. It was horrible, it felt like 3 hours.
And did I mention I am very claustrophobic?! Ugh.Your neighbor is just a weirdo, why would you do that knowing you could get stuck? I don't get people, truly I don't.....
OMG how weird is this! Today is trash day, and as I was bringing the barrels in from the rain, I was reminiscing on how much I loved living in the tower building in Japan, that all I had to do was take the elevator to the basement and toss the trash in that one room, and then I thought, wow, I should ask Alex if the newer tower buildings (you know, the ones on the other side of the rr tracks) were still in good shape. LOL! Weird.
hehehe I can totally relate. The elevator in my old college dorm looked like it had been last serviced in 1907 by the founder of Otis Elevator. It regularly got stuck, the lights never worked (ever) and it was SO SLOW that it was a dorm joke to try to do a quickie in the elevator as it went from the bottom floor to the top. So you can of course just imagine the shit that was all over the floor in there... ugh. puke.
I have developed a bad habit of getting on the elevator at work and tapping the "emergency bell" to signal the floor I'm going to. You know, if I'm going to the 3rd floor, I'll tap it three times...ding, ding, ding.
Well, let me just say that this is NOT a good thing to do when you visit your Mom in her retirement community. Apparently, they take that bell a tad more serious that our security guards.
Heh. During a reunion trip in Seattle with some friends I'd made iwhen I was in Japan, some of us got stuck in the elevator. Although the elevator said that only 6 people can fit, our dumbasses tried to cram 8 people in there. Not to mention that one of our friends jumped, which aided in the elevator stopping.
It was funny for about 5 minutes (even took pictures). Our remaining friends who were outside were even teasing us, pretending to be the fire dept. But when we realized the severity of the situation (and the fact that it was getting hot very quickly), we started to get on each other's nerves. It was not a pleasant situation. Fortunately we got out of there right away.
Me too! I got stuck in an elevator in Washington D.C. for a little over two hours one time. It's a very long story. I was very glad that I wasn't a claustrophobe - and that I wasn't in there with one.