Rainbow Trite | TCWH | Monday Night at 9:00

Note to self: Next time you give up alcohol as a dietary tactic (instead of employing it as your sole caloric intake/appetite suppressant morning, noon, and night) remember not to substitute various types of chocolate to fulfill oral urges. For example, chowing down on an extremely large Nestle's Crunch Valentine's Day Milk Chocolate Heart is not an acceptable before-workout snack. Neither is a mouthful of Altoids cinnamon mints.

Note to self: When speaking with students, do not use slang. Phrases such as "Sit Tight," and "Wrap it Up," and "Take it Easy," do not make sense to ESL 7 year old minds. Besides, Ti damn near suffocating herself by sitting so close to the table that she could not breath because that was her interpretation of sitting tight and she wanted to please you would not make a pretty lawsuit come job renewal time. Think: Concrete, not abstract. Hell, Just THINK.

Note to self: Next time you eye that chair balancing precariously on the ledge and think that you shouldn't stand on it, either put on your helmet while you are ignoring your instincts, or DON'T stand on the damn chair. This would completely avoid you going ass over teakettle onto the concrete floor and laying there, embarrassed in the library while dh, after confirming that you are okay, laughs uncontrollably.

Note to self: Do not burst into laughter mid-foreplay to demonstrate to dh how when you were in 2nd grade some little boy showed you how to bend your arm at the elbow and pull back the skin to make the outside of a vagina. DO NOT, under any circumstances, spend the next 3 minutes trying to perfect it so he'll know what you find so damn funny. You're a grown up, damnit.

Note to self: Prioritize 'Note to self' list and tuck it inside your helmet.