I rarely comment on what is on the news here, you know, because I don't want to try and be one of those "pundits". I don't know how to pun a dit, much less try and appear intelligent when discussing current, inflammatory events. I am not so good under the fire. Yes, y'all, I am the one who looked at one of my students and forget her name because I was nervous during our accreditation inspection, and those inspectors were teachers, too! A jury of my peers! Imagine me being under fire for saying something like "I am Pro-Choice" or "I like to kill and eat baby dolphins" . I'd go down faster than... (insert appropriate sexual innuendo HERE) . I am Little Miss Non-Confrontational.
As I found myself watching the news this morning, where they were detailing the latest Mary Kay Letorneau incident, I was INCREDULOUS at the newscasters' overall tone. They insinuated that adult/teen sex was "glamorized". It was quite ridiculous, really. Let's blame "Desperate Housewives" for "the latest rash of teacher student sex scandals!" OKAY! And while we're at it, sign me up for that internet suicide pact on Valentine's Day, because I want to do that, too. Are you fucking kidding me?
Having worked around schools and teenagers and having had sex myself, I think the slant the media is taking is... contrived. Well shit, I wasn't thinking about having sex with sullen teenager who leers at me (that's his Indian name) , but now that I see Eva Longoria doing it with her own personal lawn mower man who is so pretty, you know, because all teenage boys look like that, I AM GOING TO DO IT, TOO! There's a pun for ya. In fact, I can't even finish typing this post because I'm going to go out and get my own Vili Fulaau (who apparently frequents all the clubs with his posse now that he's of age, because becoming a father at the age of 13 = HAWT, in this day and age.) .
From a personal standpoint, I've been around 13 year old boys. Most of them smell. If they're into the cologne at that age, they reek. They giggle with their friends when Lindsay Lohan's boobs make their umpteenth cameo on the social scene, and they jerk off in the shower. Or socks. Or wherever! My point is: 13 year old boy DOES NOT equal satisfying (or legal) sexual partner.
Think about the first time you had sex for a minute. If you tell me it was lovely and wonderful and blah blah blah, you've been reading too many Harlequin romance novels, and B.) You're lying. My first time? Horrendous. In fact, I believe I said, "Is that it?" Which I was promptly repaid for, because my young beau then gave a detailed account to his friends and proclaimed that he had "popped so fast because it had been so long." Yeah, NEVER is a long time. Even AFTER we had sex after that awkward first time, it was still all arms and legs and jerky jerky jerky. Which I suppose is part of growing up. *ahem* I said "part of growing up", not part of already being a grown up. Bad GIRL, Barbie Look Alike. You shall not teach children again.
Perhaps the only intelligent thing that one of the newscasters said was, "The girl definitely has some issues". Well, no shit. That seems to be a common thread. All the female teachers are younger. All the female teachers appear extremely unhappy in their relationships with men. They all found someone who worships them, unconditionally.
Working with teenage children of the opposite sex can be an extremely sticky situation, especially if the teachers do not make their boundaries inarguably clear. My first year here, there was a boy. He was 12. He was extremely attentive and very "adult" in his conversation. He pursued me relentlessly. He came to my house (no, I did not tell him where I lived) , he asked me for hugs. He would come sit in my office and ask me to get him out of class. He made direct eye contact with me during all verbal exchanges and would often attempt to touch me. Finally, when introduced to my husband, he looked him up and down, sized him up, and proclaimed him "hairy and too old for me." (Snide remark: Thank God I made that pact after my first husband to not get involved with younger men because if you see it on TV or a MOVIE, IT IS OKAY!)
On my part, I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I refused any physical contact with him, always placed a large desk in between myself and him, and spoke to his mother about the situation, for which she apologized profusely, stating that she had never "seen him act this way". Interestingly enough, these occurences were never in private - there were always 2 or more student and adults present. Evaluating the situation in black and white, it screams "INAPPROPRIATE". Do I think it was inappropriate? Yes and no.
From a teacher standpoint, I think he was figuring out how to relate to the opposite sex. Because he was not allowed to socialize with girls on a regular basis (no after school hanging out, no phone calls, no school dances - even now that he is 15) , he was developing his social skills with the females that he was allowed to come into contact with - specifically, his teachers. No, I was not the only young female teacher that was the object of his affection.
As an adult, and a NEW teacher, I was HYPER AWARE of his presence. THe other kids teased him relentlessly for flirting with me. It was a potentially dangerous situation that I squashed. I went out of my way to NEVER give him one to one instruction, and always made sure that there were large groups of people around us. I never stood too close, smiled too wide, or put my hand on his shoulder. I think I did the right thing.
Unfortunately, although much to the amusement of the media, these women did not. To insinuate that they abandoned their morals because of a show on TV is insulting. To further insinuate that they are sexual predators because of their indiscretions is preposterous. In my eyes, a sexual predator will strike again and again with various children, pursuant of the thrill of the hunt. Mary Kay has remained with Vili. She is unbalanced as all get out, but I wouldn't define her as a predator. What will happen with the two other young women remains to be seen. Should they be allowed the insanity defense? Absolutely not. The phone call of the 1st teacher making her student pinky swear not to tell anyone demonstrates that she was cognizant of every move. Each woman knew exactly what she was doing when her panties hit the floor. However, because of mental state or lack thereof, each chose to ignore the consequences.
Was it worth it? Dubious, but they found what they were looking for: Unconditional unwavering adoration.