Today, after a completely mind numbing workshop on Curriculum Pre-Implementation, I was driving my grumpy ass home listening to the ONE! station that we get on the radio and heard this little snippet:
"Ass like a car wreck..." before the artist launched into some Japanglish rap (Those. Are. My. Favorite. One just hasn't lived until one has heard the vocal gymnastics that are Japanese rap. It's aurally orgasmic. Or maybe I'm easily amused.) .
Wait up, hold a minute. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Ass like a car wreck? Being the female that I am, I thought, "Is that good? Is that bad? What the HELL does that mean?" It's like a scab. I mean, when Pharrell croons "Her ass is a spaceship that I want to ride," I giggle moronically.
TANGENT: Is this Girl really singing TIFFANY on AMERICAN IDOL? I mean is she? FOR REAL? Are my ears bleeding? This is the best thing I've seen all year or in the last five minutes, at least. TCWH, the television whore, has another shiny rock for her nest.
What was I saying? Pharrell, giggling moronically. A spaceship is kind of big, yeah, but he wants to ride it! Compliment, I say. Car wreck? Rubbernecking? Hurts people? WHAT?
So what is it, oh internet community? Tip o'the hat, or "Bitch, I wouldn't touch that with a pole!"
It is good... Nobody can take their eyes off of a car wreck no matter how hard they try. Of course, this goes in to the family of "ass" similes/metaphors that require a bit of thought and could go either way... such as:
Ass like a ten-year old altar boy.
Ass like a slot machine (I don't get it either).
Trampoline ass.
Ass like a train wreck. (Similar to the one you heard but I think this one is bad... because more people can die)
Hurricane ass . (shrug...)
Wasn't it "ass like a dump truck" or something in the thong song? I'm still puzzling over that one. I just don't want to hear my ass connected to anything with "dump" after it. Maybe it's just me.
ViVi, it was "dumps like a truck"- not that I know what it means, but if you're wearing "bling" and you put out an album, you get to create words and phrases.
anyway, I would have to say its a bad thing.
Like, for example, when I accidentally walked into a meeting of the "Female Engineer Society" and I screamed.. "OH MY GOD! ITS LIKE A TRAIN WRECK!"
You see, what I didn't mean by that was, "look at all the deliciously sexy computer nerdettes and their slide-rules." What I DID mean was, "Oh my god its so horrible! Awful! Disgusting! ... but I strangely can't stop looking at the carnage"
Or something like that.
Clarification: Succeeded.
I've always been leery of Japanese rap, because how hard can it be. After all, the language is perfect for creating rhymes. Ka, sa, ta, ba, wa...Dammit I forgot my college Japanese, already?
"ass like a car wreck" ...hmm, not something that I would want my ass compared to...I would think someone is saying that my ass is f-ed up. Or maybe everyone is looking at it curiously. Why would my ass be curious?? Is it square?? Broken?? Are other asses involved?? See...a car wreck is just so many things.
A spaceship ass...I am old enough to remember Close Encountersof the Third Kind and that was a huge ship. To have a ass that compares to a intergalatic craft...well I would have to pass. The Death Star in Star Wars was a space ship...and that fecking thing was huge!!
Well enough rambling...My age is showing...
:D