Rainbow Trite | TCWH | 11 Short Hours in Hell: Field Trip

Now, I like field trips as much as the next teacher. I love the wild children. Trying to wrangle umpteen screaming, running, misbehaving kids who ignore you because their parents are there and ignoring them in turn is FUN!

On this particular trip into hell, we went to a nearby safari park. Nearby is 3 hours away to be precise. Past the base of Mount Fuji, which is a long trip in and of itself without a busload of tired, cramped, peanut bladdered children.

Oh, we saw zebras:

We scoped lions:

And we saw some bear sex.
That's what I said, bear sex.
And being the mature, professional educator that I am, I OF COURSE snapped a picture for you, my curious readers! Hi Mom!

Which was much more interesting than the wallabies, if you ask me. The amusing thing was that the kids just couldn't quite seem to figure out WHAT IN TARNATION those CRAZEE animals were doing! "They're fighting!" "No, no, no, they're playing! Look how that one's bouncing up and down!" All 10 adults on the bus glued smiles to their faces and stared into the distance, refusing eye contact or acknowledgement of any kind. Sex is fun, boys and girls! Sex is fun!

Seeing these animals left me more befuddled than before: Why is it called doggy style again?

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Ah, the nature of the wild beast, or caged in this instance.

I couple years ago, I took my daughter to the county fair. There were hogs there doing the wild thing, she, unfortunatly was old enough to know what they were doing and she was totally grossed out.

p.s. I sent you an email about my misadventures with the car trunk.

comment by dl at 09:15 PM on 05.28.05 [ link ]

You could always teach your student what doggy style in different languages is...
In Latin: coitus more ferarum ("sex in the manner of a beast")
In French: levrette (literally a female greyhound)
In Italian: pecorina ("little sheep")

Also, in the Kama Sutra it is known as the Union of the Cow.

So there you go... :)

comment by Rob at 02:13 AM on 05.29.05 [ link ]

Rob,

I really doubt calling it "the Union of the Cow" is going to make most women jump on the offer. Maybe its just the women I know, but being likened to a heiffer isn't high on their list.

Love,
Brian

comment by Brian at 12:30 PM on 05.29.05 [ link ]

At least you and the kids didn't see any animals masturbating. One time at the zoo I saw a bat hanging upside down and SUCKING HIS OWN DICK. Meanwhile, a small group of children was quickly approaching the bat exhibit. I pounded on the glass, trying to make him stop before they got there. Fortunately he did just in time.

comment by Toni at 03:29 PM on 06.01.05 [ link ]

Pounding on the glass to make a bat stop sucking his own dick? That's got to be about the funniest damn thing I've ever read.

It almost looks like he's whispering in her ear..."Now you know why the call me Big Ben, huh, babe!"

comment by Howard at 07:08 AM on 06.02.05 [ link ]