To: Internal Clock, TCWH's
Re: Lack of Sleep, Reason, and other Facilities.

Dear Sir/Madam:

It seems that you have been robbing my client, henceforth referred to as "THE BODY" of an essential elment, sleep. Enclosed please find my FURIOUS FUCKING COMPLAINT that you are selfishly remaining on some clock that is beknownst only to you, keeping "THE BODY" awake at all hours of the night and freakishly dopey during the day. Rumors this has to do with hair color, and/or increasing age have been quashed, following rigorous research and testing.

This is a formal order to CEASE AND DESIST so that "THE BODY" can get some sleep and quit making Paris Hilton and/or Nicole Ritchie (see also: Tara Reid) look like members of MENSA. Should you refuse, appropriate measures WILL be taken to ensure that you are within compliance (read: We will have the guys in the suits with the Nyquil come and pump! YOU! up!).

Sincerely,

TCWH.

P.S. Please inform your friend biological clock, to shut the fuck up. No matter how loud or incessant the ticking, THE BODY is experiencing technical difficulties at the moment and unable to accomodate.