May 24, 2005
Old Should be a Four Letter Word

For a long time, I refused to believe I was getting any older. People say teenagers act like they're invincible - I think they just haven't met me.

The last few weeks have been a slap in the face. I think I was reading Joelle's recent post about going to bed early as an indicator of declining youth and I thought, "Shit. I do that." Slumbering excessively early? Check.

I really started to put it all together when I put on a cleavage excessive shirt apres hair cut. Now, if you're a woman, you'll know that there are certain bras that you wear with certain shirts. If you're a man, let me explain: Depending on the shirt cut and style, you need different amounts of coverage and support. This shirt is low dipping, so up until this point I have chosen low coverage and low support. Small boobs are perky when they're young. This is okay. Pulling the shirt on, I noticed something very...disturbing. My once young female described "disgustingly perky boobs" looked like bananas. Indeed. Looking in the mirror, I was horrified. Daylight come and me wan' go home.

booobies2.JPG
Unexpectedly sagging body parts? Check.

The final straw came today, as dh and I were watching movies. Yesterday, we tried to watch "Team America", a supposedly hilarious movie that many of my friends have sung endless praises about. Me? I fell asleep while the puppets were exhausting the numerous sexual positions. Oblivous to recent pop culture references? Check. However. HOW! EVER! I was riveted by this movie:

Life Aquatic.jpg

Can y'all believe it? Seduced by Seu George's Portugese renditions of "Rebel Rebel" and "Rock N' Roll Suicide". Taken in by the quirkiness of the imagined sea creatures. Maybe it was Owen Wilson's fake Kentucky accent. Call it what you will. Irregardless, after the movie ended, I knew that I loved it. And as I realized that I would love to sit and watch this with my dad and mom and discuss (discuss!) the significance of the seemingly unbelieveable Jaguar Shark, I also knew that I was going straight past Spring Chicken. Do Not Pass GO. Affinity for quirky movies? Check.

Send me some bran in the next care package, will ya? Meanwhile, I have to go pull out the *ancient* T'Pau tape from 8th grade. And buy some new bras.


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Alex | 08:10 PM |

Comments

... a little bit of heart and soul, need a little bit of love to grow!

comment by Rose at 10:00 PM on 05.24.05 [ link ]

Haa. I love the little illustration!

comment by Gloria at 10:03 PM on 05.24.05 [ link ]

Keep trying! I liked The Life Aquatic too, but then again, I'm old...

comment by Surfcat at 12:46 AM on 05.25.05 [ link ]

first of all, thank gawd that your vagina isn't drooping... and secondly, i shudder to think of what you'd compare it to...

hopefully not bananas.

comment by mikey at 01:51 AM on 05.25.05 [ link ]

sagging? no, they're not sagging!

i insist you send me pictures and let me examine them further...

comment by mlah at 02:52 PM on 05.25.05 [ link ]

Guess what? It only gets better as you get older!!

Wait till they become so floppy they disapear under your armpits when you lie down.

comment by dl at 08:26 PM on 05.25.05 [ link ]

Bananas? Bananas!

Damn.

comment by Brian at 12:00 PM on 05.27.05 [ link ]

Are you reading my MIND? I was just thinking about how I could afford a breast lift today.

Breasts are depressing.

comment by Rori at 01:00 PM on 05.29.05 [ link ]
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