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Doin' the time to get the dime. Her Momma did NOT raise her to drink cheap champagne.

April 03, 2004

Bright Ideas

smart.jpg

Just a quickie, before I get in the shower (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) because I actually said this to my fucking husband today and almost slapped myself. (TANGENT, TANGENT, Will Robinson. I am doing my utmost to curse as much as I motherfucking can out of respect to my newest hero, The Tenth Muse . It seems she has been accused of being a foul-mouthed, hateful, classless, bigot because she offers dieting tips on a site that she pays for! Well God Forbid that she puts what she fucking wants on there! I mean, she pays for the damn thing! Who the hell does she think she is? Shit! Fuck! Damn! *All said with Glee*) So, yeah, this is what I said:

TCWH: (in sick scratchy voice) Do you want me to get dressed today so I can leave the house?
DH:

NEVERMIND. You don't need to know what he said, because I can't believe that these are actually the words that came out of my mouf (Why yes, I was going for that overused Chris Tucker reference! pats you on the head) Further more, I cannot believe I fucking said that! Spring is Sprung! Spring Break is passing me by, yet here I am, sitting diligently in front of my computer, writing motherfucking PAPERS! *sob* It is enough to make my brain explode, and well, we all know that I'm no housewife and that DH would have to clean that up. That might piss him off. Just a LEETLE bit. I mean, can you imagine him scrubbing it out of our Thai Silk slipcovers? Grounds for divorce, I'm sure!

I'm saying this to you: I know what let's do! <--- I cannot stand it when people say this, because for some reason it reminds me of a Shirley Temple movie, so let's just (insert the fake temple smile here) and get this idea on the road.

Let's make a MASTER'S COUNTDOWN CALENDAR. I will be done May 19th, God and Brain willing. I don't even want to think about how many days and papers will be due in between then and now, so you just mark it down, and then throw some confetti at me when I'm done, okay? If I threaten a nervous breakdown, just remind me you've got the MCC all covered and the days...why, they're just flying by! and that I'll be done before I know it!

Yes. I want you to pay attention to me. Shameless self-promotion. I'm an only child. I never get tired of it.

by Alex at 04:31 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (1)
Beyond the Black Hole links with: What smells like tuna in here?
Comments
on April 3, 2004 03:10 PM Susie said:

I feel your pain--I still have three classes to go (providing I manage to finish my current one without imploding) for my MS, and I'm at the point where I keep asking myself "Why? Why did I ever think this was a good idea? Why?"...

on April 5, 2004 04:48 PM Surfcat said:

I like to cuss too! I know what let's do, let's all cuss so we'll all feel better! Some people are just too uptight. There is a free countdown timer (that I now rely on way too much) at

http://www.contactplus.com/products/freestuff/countdown.htm

Here is my list of crap that I keep on there:

My next three vacations, my retirement date, also how long I have been married, divorced, alive and how long I've worked at this latest job. OK now I'm depressed. But only 3 months till the next vacation!

on April 6, 2004 04:17 AM Alex said:

SC,

I know what let's do! Let's teach Alex how to read so that she doesn't read "My next three divorces..."

on April 6, 2004 04:59 PM Surfcat said:

Let's be careful out there! Wow a woman that want attention paid to her. Now that's a new one ;-)

on April 7, 2004 07:41 AM TCWH said:

::kicks self:: Shee-it I cannot stand it when I do something that is so stereotypically female. DAMNIT! I'm losing my edge.

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