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Doin' the time to get the dime. Her Momma did NOT raise her to drink cheap champagne.

May 03, 2004

If it so pleases you, my king and queen.

trash.jpg
Dear Neighbors,

By all means, don't take out your trash in my concern! Please leave it camped outside your door blocking the entire hallway aromatizing our entire floor for as many days as you please! I love walking out of the elevator and getting smacked in the face with the appetizing aroma of rotting food and diapers. Quel Refreshing! I also love it when you drag it to the elevator, leaving a drippy, glistening trail of what I can only describe as abstract ingenuity! Which, I might add, is a complete pleasure to slip and fall in when I stumble home arms full of groceries! And, if you would leave it in the elevator to ride up and down and decompose in the summer humidity, until some good Samaritan places it in the trash receptacle for you, I would consider it a personal favor! After all, I wouldn't want you or your family to get too much exercise in the 10 or so steps from your door to the elevator, than having to push the button, wait *heavens no!*, and then have to ride the elevator down and actually deposit your bag. That would be expecting way too much on behalf of the people who placed you in your free house with free utilities and free trash pick up and free furniture. For free.

Live long and prosper! Oh, and if you need to wipe your asses later? Just ring the bell! I'll come running!

TCWH in 4F

by Alex at 05:53 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
Comments
on May 4, 2004 12:48 AM rachel said:

Girl fuck that,
First thing I'd do is print out a nice nasty note and leave it plastered everywhere.. and if THAT didn't work I'd start knocking on doors.. but then I'm an evil bitch.
Seriously.

on May 4, 2004 06:41 PM Alex. said:

You're the evil bitch, I'm the resident passive aggressive. Seriously. It sucks.

on May 5, 2004 04:30 AM amber said:

first thing i'd do is print out THAT note and put it on their door. they're evil, not you.

on May 5, 2004 06:38 AM Alex. said:

A,

I haven't actually SEEN the couple. Mysterious things keep appearing outside their door in the form of trash, a cart, etc. Maybe they don't even really exist. They're starting to do monitoring (cameras), so hopefully Uncle San will do something about it. Hopefully. You never want to f&uck openly with a military wife - them bitches crazy! Myself included.

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