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Doin' the time to get the dime. Her Momma did NOT raise her to drink cheap champagne.

April 06, 2004

In the Time of Chimpanzees, I was a Monkey.

sushi.jpg I'm ruminating. Marinating. D.H. and I, for matters financial only, have been reduced to eating at what the gaijins refer to as screaming sushi. I wrote about it here, and you can read it just in case you haven't already. Make sure to scroll down. It's the one at the bottom. I've already waxed philosophical about it. More than once. Instead, I bring you:

TCWH's Ode To Toto Ya Michi
Also known as: When Boredom Strikes.

I will not eat raw fish with rice.
I will not eat it. Not once! Not Thrice!
I do not see fit to make nice.
I will not eat raw fish with rice.

I will not eat it perched on a stool.
I will not eat it by the pool.
I will not eat it to seem cool.
No, I will not eat it, GirlScout's Rule. (yes! I know it is promise, not rule! Artistic license, okay?)

I do not like it! I do not!
The fish is warm, the rice is hot!
Do you want food poisoning? I DO NOT!
I like my sashimi fresh and cool.
I like my sashimi (wipes face of drool)!

If fresh sashimi you could get,
I'd eat it all, you could bet!

I would eat it with a spork.
I would eat it with Mork from Ork!
I would eat it, it's not pork.
I would eat it, I'm a sushi dork.

(okay, now read real fast so the meter isn't messed up! FASTER!)
But you do not give me these options,
Instead you fill your rotating conveyor belt with hideous concotions!
Smoked salmon covered with what looks like squeezin's
Spewed forth from the chef's nether regions!
Recommendation, you say.
Recommendation? I scoff!
What's in that special sauce? says I? You: cough cough!

No, I will not eat your sushi, Yamaguchi san.
I will not eat any! Not a wan!
Until your fish is cool and clean and fresh,
My mouth will be sushi - lesh.

on April 6, 2004 07:55 AM rachel said:

I DONT like sushi but I do love Dr Seuss and I adore when you write poems about sushi and Dr Seuss.. this is a keeper. Not to mention I'm teetotally tired and I have hissing cats in the living room. I bet THEY would love sushi. Not sure about Dr Seuss though.

on April 6, 2004 07:57 AM rachel said:

Your comments hate me. About as much as I hate sushi. So you guys take GARY out for sushi when you get to Phoenix. I'll be drinking.. infact I will come with you .. HE can have sushi and I CAN have the alcohol!!! Then he can drive me home... unless of course he's dead from bad sushi.. in which case would you recite that at the funeral?

on April 6, 2004 07:59 AM rachel said:

Now, I really know they hate me cuz I swear that first comment was NOT there. It DID NOT SHOW UP.. I HATE COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!

I need sleep :(

on April 6, 2004 09:18 AM Simon said:

My daughter's in for a rude shock when I read her bedtime story tonight....Dr. Seuss and sushi, what a combo!

on April 6, 2004 01:48 PM Ted said:

I refuse to eat anything I've used as fishing bait.

on April 6, 2004 05:16 PM Surfcat said:

Funny...some of my favorite foods look, smell or taste like fish baits. I too liked the Dr. Sush poem. I know what let's do, have wasabi to make it taste even better. Put a little windex.

on April 6, 2004 09:36 PM Rose said:

1) We are SO going to eat sushi when you get to Phoenix.

2) I don't care if Gary and S. come with us or not, but we will bring Rachel, and she will have a sake bomber.

3) Sashimi rules.

4) Jesus Christ on a Cracker, Rachel, could you be any more neurotic about the comments engine? Is 7:30 in the morning too early for you to have a cocktail> ;-)

on April 6, 2004 10:32 PM rachel said:

her comments hate me.. they disappear then come back or just not show up at all.. was it really 730? NO.. really?!.. no it wasnt.. it was 730 HER time.. that was last nite for me...

on April 7, 2004 07:27 AM TCWH said:


Well, if we take Gary out for sushi, and he dies, both Rose and I would be dead as well! From the fish - you'd be the only left to say the poem. Maybe you should write it on a little piece of paper and bring it in your pocket, just in case. Or you can just drink sake bombs for us, that would be okay.

on April 7, 2004 07:29 AM Alex said:

S -

That's actually where I got the idea. A little girl named Jarrina keeps telling me, "Hey! Watch my tongue twister! I would not eat it with a mouse! I would not eat it in a house!" All! DAY! LONG! Pleasant. But, I like my version much better.

on April 7, 2004 07:32 AM Alex said:


It is an interesting habit, I agree. I can't think about it too much - in the same vein, I don't like to eat chicken, beef, or pork. I just think about their little faces and it grosses me out. Before Finding Nemo, fish was the only "animal" I ate. You must use some expensive bait!

on April 7, 2004 07:34 AM Alex said:


I am ALL about the wasabi. That's the difference with the traditional restaurants - they do not put the little pots of wasabi on the table - the chefs put it on, and you get what you get! I might have to start carrying windex in my bag.

on April 7, 2004 07:37 AM Alex said:


1.) We will so have to take Rachel out to eat prior to the sake bomber. Alcohol. in. stomach. Hell, maybe I'll grab something to.

2.)It will be so! Much! fun! Yippee!

3.) We will definitely have to have a designated driver.

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