April 20, 2004
Major Woody? Meet Major Asshole
Usually I try not to fucking offend, but it's been a bad day at the grindstone, and frankly, I could fucking care. Less. I came home today to a phone call from DH, to which he told me that he is NOT allowed to get a rental car, nor is he being given any type of allowance because he is supposed to eat in the chow hall. Fine. No problem. ABC Base? Bigger than Anna Nicole Smith's money grubbing ass before AND after her stupid diet, which did nothing a push-up bra and some sit ups couldn't do, by the way. The shuttle? Not until 4:00. P. fucking M. So apparently, not only is DH supposed to walk his skinny little ass to and from school each day (Round Trip 14 miles) , he is also supposed to walk to and from the chow hall (Round Trip 20 miles) every fucking day! His class? Starts at 4. A. fucking M. So the way I figure it, if he leaves the house at around 2:30 am in the morning, he should make it there on time. Thank God he can he can go for over 12 hours without eating, because with all the time he's going to spend walking, he won't have time to grab a bite!
The kicker to this bend over and fuck yourself without the Vaseline is that all the other guys from the other bases (even OTHER BASES IN JAPAN!) all get rental cars and daily allowances. Oh yeah. And the guys who live 20 minutes from the base? Hotel? Check. Daily Allowance? Check. Rental Car? Check. So my question to YOU MAJOR ASSHOLE is this: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM? You have no problem on signing off for plasma TVs for every shop in the squadron, but you can't provide my husband with a rental car so he can drive his ass the 10 miles to the chow hall to EAT FOR FREE? FUCK YOU! You sir, receive my official MOTHERFUCKER OF THE DAY award. Hell, you might win my MOTHERFUCKER OF THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING YEAR award. I could just scream right now, but I don't have a voice, so I'll give y'all a little guidance. Find the Phunk Junkeez. I don't remember the name of the album. Listen to "Devil Woman." Wait until the end. When he says "Fuckin' Bitch" and then screams? That is what I want to sound like.
I suppose I could put my "motherfuckers" where my mouth is and do something military wifely like write a letter to the BIG COLONEL, like so many others do. But let's consider the repercussions. An abundance of those letters make the writers sound like whiny bitches. I don't want to sound like a whiny bitch. I want to sound eloquent and educated. However, I have learned that with some things military, you just bend over and take it. And, I doubt that I could produce something erudite without revealing MAJOR ASSHOLE's real name, much less sounding rational. All of this would just result in a whirlwind of shit for DH, not something I really want to do.
Adding to my motherfucking frustration?
1.) I slept through a dinner invitation from AT and her husband. The bitch of it all? I cannot call to apologize because *HEY!* I can't motherfucking talk!
2.) Shit load! of! Homework! Time for TCWH! None!
CAN YOU MOTHERFUCKING HEAR ME NOW?
*ahem*
Ah, the things I get to try to look forward to. I'm learning that military matters are just things you smile and take. But I, like you, am not used to just sitting back and taking shit, so it's gonna be rough for me too.
Hang in there.
Let me tell you... when I think Gary is getting jacked over the first thing I always without fail say is "LET ME CALL MY DAD" (O6) and I go off on a rant and blah blah blah. Gary just says "NO rach.. it's not going to do anygood. I might get what I want this time but I'll be seen as the whiney bitch who had to call his father-in-law" and I bite my nails and chew my tongue and go in the bathroom in my 'corner' and cry.
The first time I had surgery in Texas they wouldn't let him have off to be with me.. not even to drive me home.. (he was playing secretary at the time.. not EVEN ON HIS JOB).. my dad got mad about that. I didn't call him to tell him he merely asked if Gary was going to get off work and I honestly replied 'no'. I did ask Dad to NOT do anything about it though. We would be fine. I took a cab home. And the next 2 surgeries in Texas he was able to go with me... I can by no thought process explain what goes thru the minds of these military high ups sometimes. It makes no sense.. the same one who said DH can't have a rental is probably be driven around by a fucking GI.
Growing up in a Navy household and married into an Airforce one I've heard it all.. well right when I think I've heard it all... I'm told something new ... blows my mind.
Welcome to the military.. no its not all f*cking fun and games.. regardless what you f*cking civilians think.
There's my rant.. we love you Alex **hugs**
Did he try calling his Shop Chief or his Section Commander (insert Section Commander's Secretary, heh). He needs to call his Orderly Room and explain the situation. If you're staying off station (as i'm assuming he is because he's 7 miles away from school) you're supposed to get extra per diem because your food cost is going to be higher.
If he's not staying off station, then all I can say is Army bases suck. ;) Seriously, though, he should call his Orderly Room and talk to someone and see if they can handle it for him... If they're the ones that said no on the Rental Car, then he needs to call the Flight Chief and then the Section Commander.
I can't see anyone in my Flight accepting the fact that he has to walk 7 miles to and from school every day... But maybe I just have good Supervision.
oh dear, sounds like a bad situation. send him some flour in the mail and he'll die of shock thinking it's anthrax!
I'm sensing some anger here. I know it's subtle, but I can certainly read between the lines.
There is absolutely no reason DH should be going through what you described. The JFTR (Joint Federal Travel Regulations) specifically states that he is allowed per diem when on his TDY status (restrictions do apply...but I don't think so in this case). He or someone on his behalf (supervisor) needs to contact his orderly room and try to make arrangements for him. If they call to the base he's at in the states their facilities (MPF/Finance) can help him out. I wouldn't go around yelling Fuck!!!! (although it is fun to do that from time to time) but I would make a friendly/concerned call to his workcenter and inquire on his behalf. Good Luck.
