Educated Beyond Her Intelligence

It All Started Innocently Enough.

OR Wherein TCWH proclaims her love for gay men.

As I mentioned yesterday, I was whisked away to downtown for some Summer Sunday Socializing. Not very much fun when you have to get up at 5:30 the next a.m. to get ready for school, but my caretaker was not to be deterred, as he had strict instructions from DH to get me out of the house in his absence. Although, I think DH maybe had dinner in mind. Not drinks n' dykes. "Be ready in 25 minutes," he ordered. "I am NOT taking no for answer." So I gathered my sighing self, slithered into the shower, and got ready to go. We chatted all the way down to Tokyo, and within 45 minutes I found myself standing in the balmy night air, Corona in hand, surrounded by a young inebriated gentleman who kept pinching my upper arm and saying, "YOU are so pretty. I like penises, but DAMN GIRL! You take the cake!" He repeated this every 30 seconds or so, and punctuated it with swigs from his own Corona. After the 3rd or 4th time, I smiled at CT and admitted, "You're right, this is just the medicine I needed!" And what girl wouldn't really?

I will say that I was hit on by a young Canadian woman who came right out and said, "Are you gay?" When I replied in the negative, she immediately finished up the tidy little conversation and walked away. "You know," CT shrugged "Time investment and all that jazz." "Sure" I smiled through the lime tidbits swirling around in my teeth (because nothing makes me happier when you go to a bar and THEY KNOW how to serve a Corona. Corona without the lime? It's a fucking travesty. Tragedy.), although I was a little suprised by her abruptness. "Shut UP!" CT admonished "She hit on you within the first five minutes we were here!" So I promptly removed my head from my ass and went about having a *FABULOUS* with a capital FABULOUS time. I was missing DH a little bit, but was glad he was in another country. Last time we went to a party, all the men were sidling up to him and saying, "Wouldn't you rather go home with a real man?" and then giving me the dagger of death eyes when he said he was married. To a woman, no less.

I had such a good time, in fact, that I danced and socialized and flitted around until nearly 11:15. Two hours and fifteen minutes AFTER I turn out of Cinderella into the lonely deployed wife. The highlight of my evening came in this form:
A young flight attendant that I met who was SO! DAMN! CUTE! handed one of these to me. Thinking that it was a pack of matches (Hey, hey, hey. It was FUCKING dark in there, all right?) , I tucked it inside my shirt collar so that it was sticking out a little bit. This amused him to no end, and he ran off and grabbed another one so that I could stick it into the other side of my shirt. It wasn't until the drive home that CT said, "Honey, you know those are condoms, right?" and I just laughed because I really hadn't had the faintest that I had been socializing around with two condoms sticking out of my shirt. TCWH (THAAAAAT'S ME!) advocates safe sex. The little mascot on there, Bumpy, was just so damn cute, the last thing that I associated him with was sex. And I can hear you now, smirking, "But sure, you associate him with fire? Have another drink, TCWH."Thank you. I think I will! (Psst...if you can't read the small print, because I had to shrink it, it says, "bumpy! says RIGHT THERE!" and "bumpy! says FEELS GOOD!")

Oh what a night! *Twinkle*