var HOST = 'hurlnecklace.mu.nu'; // Copyright (c) 1996-1997 Athenia Associates. // http://www.webreference.com/js/ // License is granted if and only if this entire // copyright notice is included. By Tomer Shiran. function setCookie (name, value, expires, path, domain, secure) { var curCookie = name + "=" + escape(value) + ((expires) ? "; expires=" + expires.toGMTString() : "") + ((path) ? "; path=" + path : "") + ((domain) ? "; domain=" + domain : "") + ((secure) ? "; secure" : ""); document.cookie = curCookie; } function getCookie (name) { var prefix = name + '='; var c = document.cookie; var nullstring = ''; var cookieStartIndex = c.indexOf(prefix); if (cookieStartIndex == -1) return nullstring; var cookieEndIndex = c.indexOf(";", cookieStartIndex + prefix.length); if (cookieEndIndex == -1) cookieEndIndex = c.length; return unescape(c.substring(cookieStartIndex + prefix.length, cookieEndIndex)); } function deleteCookie (name, path, domain) { if (getCookie(name)) document.cookie = name + "=" + ((path) ? "; path=" + path : "") + ((domain) ? "; domain=" + domain : "") + "; expires=Thu, 01-Jan-70 00:00:01 GMT"; } function fixDate (date) { var base = new Date(0); var skew = base.getTime(); if (skew > 0) date.setTime(date.getTime() - skew); } function rememberMe (f) { var now = new Date(); fixDate(now); now.setTime(now.getTime() + 365 * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000); setCookie('mtcmtauth', f.author.value, now, '', HOST, ''); setCookie('mtcmtmail', f.email.value, now, '', HOST, ''); setCookie('mtcmthome', f.url.value, now, '', HOST, ''); } function forgetMe (f) { deleteCookie('mtcmtmail', '', HOST); deleteCookie('mtcmthome', '', HOST); deleteCookie('mtcmtauth', '', HOST); f.email.value = ''; f.author.value = ''; f.url.value = ''; } //-->
Doin' the time to get the dime. Her Momma did NOT raise her to drink cheap champagne.

April 27, 2004

Stealing MY Thunder

Time.gif

Hmmm. Um. Hello? Excuse me? Now, I'm not going to point any fingers, but look what I saw on AOL today! Coincidence? I think not! Maybe I am missing some part of a bread trend. Far be it from me to notice. I've had my head up my computer's butt doing homework for the last eon straight. Color me partially disgruntled.

Know why kid's aren't learning anything in schools? Because they're TOO busy participating in Secretary's DAY! Mother's Day! Pan-Asia Pacific Day! Father's Day! Thanksgiving! Christmas! 30th Anniversary Day! Adopt an orphan day! Perhaps the only one I can argue for is Earth day. At least that's educational...grumble grumble. Maybe we'll churn out some good little team players who would do well at Hallmark, but they won't be the sharpest knives in the drawer. But that's okay, because they will damn well sure know how to throw together a mean invitation/announcement/greeting card.

I'm too tired to be funny. All those babies I wanted? FOR. GET. IT. Not a chance in hell. I was standing waiting for the elevator in my apartment building and I saw an OFFICIAL NOTICE , notifying us building residents that all diaper excrement was to be washed down the drain BEFORE diapers were disposed of. There is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL that I would do that. First of all, which drain? A sink? Shit in the sink? That grosses me out so much I can barely type it. That leaves the bathtub, and we all know that's a fantabulous idea. Maybe I'll just toss said excrement off the balcony. We have that shuper shexshy anti-pigeon netting (They are so stupid they just fly up to it, hang on to it and flap their wings for a good hour or so, anyway.), so I think it would land nicely on the neighbors balcony with a kerplop, depending on weight. Trajectory. Angle. It's a diaper! Are you meaning to tell me that all the people in Japan do this, and that is why we have to do this, too? I don't think so, pal. That's it. No tiny tots for me.

WTF? Is today Monday or something?

by Alex at 05:40 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
Comments
on April 27, 2004 11:18 PM rachel said:

THAT is gross... I still remember my mom washing my siblings cloth diapers out in the toilets... ew ew ew ew ew.. NO THANKYOU.. I don't even wanna pick up dog poo.. that's why we don't have one.. I still have issues with the catbox.. but I'm getting over those!

on April 28, 2004 12:16 AM Howard said:

Diapers? Just hang the kid's ass over the balcony. It's fun AND enviromentally safe too. No disposable diapers filling up landfills...and no baby crap in the sink.

on April 28, 2004 04:55 AM Rose said:

Baby poop looks a little like roasted pasilla chiles.

But roasted pasilla chiles taste better.

Just my two cents for Tuesday.

on April 28, 2004 08:49 PM Alex said:

Rachel,

That's what I'm fucking saying! DisGUSTing. You know, I used to like a kid named Gus, and then when he tried to kiss me, I ran away. I was 13. He was all like, "I thought this was what you wanted!" Men. A MAN wrote the fucking memo, you know.

on April 28, 2004 08:50 PM Alex said:

H,

You know, in China, the mother's actually have the split pants for the kids. So when the kid has to go, they just hold'em up, fold'em in half, the pants split, and the kid goes! I imagine that would work quite nicely!

on April 28, 2004 08:51 PM Alex. said:

Rose,

Have not tried the baby poop chilies yet. Will have to try when I'm in Phoenix. By the time I get there, we'll have tons of stuff to do!

Post a comment









Remember personal info?